Sunday, July 19, 2015

I like a book with a big back cover.


Welcome to the latest update of "Saturday" (the book), where things are a-happenin', let me tells you. But where are my manners? If you have no idea what any of this is and are interested enough to have read past the first sentence, allow me to explain: "Saturday" is an illustrated book about a little girl named India that I've been working on for approximately a billion years.

Actually, there's a pretty good description of things on the back cover, which I just finished:

It's got an ISBN and a barcode and everything. This book is totally, actually, like, for reals happening. And, what's more, the edits are (probably) done. I put that "probably" in there because I still have to take one or two last looks at the pages to make sure I didn't forget anything. Kind of like when you're checking out of a hotel room or some kind of mental asylum. Let's see: Keys? Check. Wallet? Check? Doll made from human hair? Check.

In a way, wrapping up "Saturday" does feel a bit like when I left the asylum; exciting, a little scary, and a little wistful. I looked things over and and a flood of memories came back: the first time I failed a Rorschach test, my first metal cafeteria tray heaped with jello salad and creamed corn, the first time Nurse Ratched had the guards haul me to shock therapy. But I also realized that nostalgia wasn't going to helpful. Mostly because those same guards were bound to discover my escape at any moment and I had to run for it.

But I've said too much.

Anyhoo, a few scaled fences, a cross-county run from the search dogs and an assumed identity later
brings us to the present, where I'm just about to wrap up the second mental illness-fueled section of my life: A children's book with enough detail to drive a sane man to crazy town and a crazy town resident to super-duper crazy town, which is in an adjacent county.

The edits are pretty much done. I have to format the files and send them to the printer. Once that's done, there will be a proof and then the books will be printed and shipped. Probably sometime in mid-September. In the meantime, I'll be starting up the second Kickstarter campaign to get the books out to you. This will probably be mid-August.

I don't have everything figured out about the Kickstarter campaign yet. It's not going to be just the book. Not that the book is anything to sneeze at. It's the best work I've ever done. But if you decide to get the book through the next KS campaign, I'm going to make sure it also comes with some cool stuff. I just don't exactly know what that stuff is just yet.

But we're getting there.

By the way, big shout out to the Chief for throwing that marble fountain through the asylum wall and making this whole thing possible. And also to everyone who has supported and continues to support the book and the crazy guy who's been working on it. Thank you.


Sunday, July 5, 2015

Look at this Dummy.


Welcome to the latest update of "Saturday" the book. If you're just joining us, Saturday is an illustrated book about a creative little girl named India McGreevy, her odd but well-meaning parents, and their trudge through a swampy week in search of sunny, dry ground.

If you're reading this in the United States, you're likely recovering from the July 4th holiday weekend and may never want to see sun again. But fear not: Your Oompa Loompa complexion, barbeque-swollen gut and scalded hand (from that thing you did that the label CLEARLY told you not to do under any circumstances) are all proof that you've celebrated Independence Day precisely as our forefathers would have done themselves. I'm pretty sure there's a painting of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin wearing sleeveless t-shirts from Old Navy (back then it was just called "Navy") and drinking Miller High Life.

Where was I? Oh, yeah: So, good news! This post does not require you to: 1.) Stand in the awful, unforgiving eye of the angry sun. 2.) Eat another delicious, ghastly, mystery-filled hot dog. 3.) Wear a shirt without sleeves. More good news: I'm on page 26 of the edits. 9 pages to go. The second Kickstarter campaign is probably not going to happen in July, but running it in early August should work out fine.

So...I have something a bit different to share this week. Take a look at this:

Do you know what this is? It's a dummy. A blank one, of course. The printing company sent it to me for approval. This is what Saturday will look like. Hardcover, 11" x 17", 35 pages. Hopefully the printing will be as beautiful as this dummy. I'm surprised at how exciting this is for me. I mean, it's just a blank dummy. But it's also tangible. Being able to hold this and open it up and feel the weight of it makes me realize how close we are.

I'm excited and nervous for you to have a copy after all this time. It feels like a first date. Or the first time I held up a convenience store. What if I've built it up too much and you finally read it after years of waiting and you're like, "Meh."? Or worse, "Blech. I've read more interesting stories from the stalls of public toilets."

Well, fingers crossed that's not your reaction. On the plus side, with a book this size and quality, there are plenty of alternate uses:

-Live in a bad neighborhood? This handy home defense book will take down the most prison-hardened criminals! Try to hit them with the corner. Take that, crime!

-Do you have a table or chair with a wobbly leg? Simply wedge this book beneath that leg and watch those wobbly problems melt away like fat in some kind of Ron Popeil gadget. Or, open the book and set it in front of the short leg. Now you can't see it! Problem solved.

-Tailing someone and need something inconspicuous to hide behind? Look no further than this giant, lavishly-illustrated children's book. Suspects will never suspect!

But that's just silly. You're going to love this book, right? (He asked with a desperate look in his twitching eyes while he grabbed your lapels and the sheen of flop sweat began to form on his forehead.)