tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18607829561773478942024-03-05T00:26:50.845-08:00SaturdayTheBookThe website to discover "Saturday", a graphic novel and children's book about an imaginative little girl named India McGreevy, her parents, an awful swamp of a week and the wild ride back to (almost) normal. Buy "Saturday" the book, see pages, illustrations, sketches, and more.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger121125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-3782411843116878392016-12-05T13:29:00.005-08:002016-12-05T13:29:53.832-08:00Of Pipe Dreams and Duck Presses
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Howdy!
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Welcome to the latest update on “Saturday” the book: the
update that’s produced only slightly more often than new episodes of “Matlock”.</div>
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Sorry about the super long hiatus since the last “Saturday”
update (he said, erroneously assuming anyone remembered him). I can see by the hatch
marks scratched into the cell wall that I haven’t written an update since
August.</div>
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The way I figures it, there are at least a couple of solid
reasons for not posting for so long:</div>
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-Coma (preferably one brought on after some kind of Evel
Knievel-esque stunt like jumping over a dozen flaming sharks and a swimming
pool full of ravenous school buses).</div>
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-Marooned on a desert island. Out of curiosity, why always
desert? There are lots of island types to choose from: Tropical, glacial,
traffic, etc.</div>
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-Held for ransom. By…I don’t know…sentient apes or
something. The Simian-ese Liberation Army.</div>
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-Cornered in the bathroom by a really big spider.</div>
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No dice on any of those, though. I’ve mostly just run out of
things to say about Saturday. Though not completely on other topics. And if you
really miss my pointless nattering, you can sign up for “Illustration
Monthy-ish” <a href="http://www.noahkroese.com/blog/" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HERE</b></a>. It’s my
once-per-month-max-no-more-than-that-I-promise newsletter about my recent
illustration projects and…well, that’s pretty much it. So, if you like that
kind of thing…good news!</div>
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Anyhoo, since my last transmission I’ve been focused on the
new book (and some paying work because living indoors is my favorite). I’m
having a ton of fun with it. I may have mentioned this before, but I’d rather
make the things than sell the things. But I’m pretty sure that’s the mournful
wail of most people who make stuff. Particularly the Willy Lomans like me.</div>
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The whole time I’ve been trying to half-heartedly sell
“Saturday”, I’ve also been secretly hoping someone (like a big store or a major
publisher) would magically appear and graciously offer to sell the book and
give me the money while I pursue my maniacal creative endeavors. A kind of
corporate sugar daddy, to use a creepy term that makes me want to shower. Part
of me always knew it was a pipe dream (I just looked it up and this phrase
refers to opium and not, as I’d previously thought, plumbing).</div>
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And then…it actually happened. A major retailer began
selling “Saturday”.</div>
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I know, it’s hard to believe. Particularly given the
incredible effort I’ve been putting in since…uh…August. Or ever, I guess.
Nevertheless, I now have a heavy-hitting retail outlet in my corner. And that
retail outlet is Goodwill of Silicon Valley.</div>
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Yes, at some point, someone out there bought or, more
likely, was given a copy of “Saturday” and it wound up with the good folks of
Goodwill Industries. Most likely inside a beat up cardboard box along with an
ugly fitted sheet (sans top sheet and pillowcases) and a video cassette of
“Tango and Cash”. </div>
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And they’re selling it for fifty bucks (shipping not
included).</div>
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So if you’re looking for a copy of “Saturday” or you’re in
the market for a 1993 Disney World t-shirt that smells like cigarette ash and
Mr. Pibb, go see the good folks at Goodwill of Silicon Valley!</div>
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Also, the holidays.</div>
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Hey, in case the sound of Christmas music at the gas station
didn’t tip you off, the holidays are right around the corner! Yes, they’re
waiting just out of sight to pounce and take your money, like a drifter with
half a pair of scissors and a hankerin’ for cheap scotch. The good news is that
I’ve made a special holiday gift guide for those of you who know people or are
people with a serious book habit and a jones for something unique.</div>
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Noah’s Gift Guide:</div>
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1.) “Saturday”, by Noah Kroese.</div>
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Welp, that about wraps up the gift guide! Act now and you
can pick up this wacky book for just $35! That’s an incredible deal. It’s 42%
less than what it would cost you to buy this book at Goodwill of Silicon
Valley. Also, they’ve only got one copy. And it’s used.</div>
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Use your computing machine to buy a brand spankin’ new copy
here: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0692476326">https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0692476326</a></div>
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Ok, ok: A one-item list is super lame. Here are some other
ideas:</div>
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-Guava Jam, from a Kickstarter backer of mine who launched
their own project: <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/salmonandsable/wild-hawaiian-guava-jam">https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/salmonandsable/wild-hawaiian-guava-jam</a><u><span style="color: blue; mso-themecolor: hyperlink;"></span></u></div>
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I haven’t had guava jam myself, but it seems neat.</div>
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-The First Robot President: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/First-Robot-President-History-Humans/dp/0997792523">https://www.amazon.com/First-Robot-President-History-Humans/dp/0997792523</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a book by a friend of mine and it’s
wacky and hilarious.</div>
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-Rattlerstrap Paracord Survival Belts: https://www.amazon.com/RattlerStrap-Paracord-Survival-Black-Medium/dp/B00AGKL8CI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480971776&sr=8-1&keywords=rattlerstrap</div>
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Great for people who wear pants and might need their belts
to save their lives someday.</div>
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-Finally, for the person who has everything: A duck carcass
press. https://www.amazon.com/Matfer-Bourgeat-DUCK-CARCASS-PRESS/dp/B000KEJS22/ref=cm_lmf_tit_7</div>
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They say that people tend to give the gift they’d like to
receive themselves. Not so much in this case.</div>
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Welp, there you have it. I’ve run out of things to say once
again, so I shall bid you adieu. If you don’t see me or hear from me before
then, happy holidays!</div>
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Cheers.</div>
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Noah</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-16370322712363650662016-08-12T08:45:00.001-07:002016-08-12T08:45:59.194-07:00Death of a Crappy Salesman
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hullo!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to the latest
update on “Saturday” the book, where you’re GUARANTEED to catch the hottest
updates on a book that came out like a year and a half ago. I guess what I’m
saying is that reading these updates is about as informative and helpful as
reading a musty old TV guide with Bee Arthur on the cover.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Speaking of breaking
news: I’m going to start posting these updates on the 15<sup>th</sup> of the
month. I figure it will be loads easier to ignore these long-winded diatribes
if there’s a predictable date attached. I’m also thinking of sending these
through a different venue, so instead of coming through Kickstarter I’ll
probably send them through MailChimp. They would still have updates on
“Satudray”, but they would also include what I’m working on right now,
including new illustrations and updates about my new book (the one about
puberty). What do you think? Are you interested in something like that?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If so, sign up here: http://www.noahkroese.com/blog/</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In other news: I
doubled my sales on Amazon last week! Pretty incredible, I know. I’ve now sold
a total of two berks. But I don’t want you to treat me any differently now that
I’m a massive, break-out success. Yes, “Saturday” is selling like hotcakes. At
a militant gluten-free, anti-capitalist commune. I also received an email from
Amazon that basically said, “Your books ain’t exactly flyin’ off the shelves.
Want them back?” There’s nothing quite like the largest retailer on Earth
delivering a bracing dose of humility right to your doorstep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m…uh…I’m bad at the
whole selling thing. I’m Willy Loman sitting gloomily in the audience of a Ron
Popiel infomercial. I’m Shelley Levene frowning in a Silicon Valley conference
room. I haven’t even heard of half the words these tech bros are bandying
about. I have no idea what “synergistic” means and I don’t *$%#@ care.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m about to say the
most un-American thing I’ve maybe ever said. Joe McCarthy is about to roll over
in his grave (he was a jerk anyway). I don’t like hotdogs. No, wait…that wasn’t
it. Freedom Sticks are delicious and help build strong stomachs (because
they’re made from them). What I meant to say was I don’t want to be a salesman.
I don’t like it. I’m not good at it. I’m not interested in being better. And
every minute I spend trying to polish the turd that represents my sales acumen
is a minute I’m not doing the thing I probably should be doing. The thing I
actually want to do. The thing I’m halfway good at: Making new things. I want
to spend my time drawing weird, fun, different books. Full stop.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course, selling my
work is part of what allows me to make new things. Money, it turns out, is
somewhat completely crucial to continuing to make new stuff, live indoors, and
eat regularly. Some might argue that, however distasteful, selling is an
inevitable and necessary part of the show. Selling is a little like radio
commercials. Insipid, asinine, embolism-inducing radio commercials. However
much they make you want to rip your radio out of the dashboard, grind it into
dust with your teeth and then spit the dust into a volcano, commercials pay for
the music or programs you listen to.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So here’s the plan:
I’m going to dial back the selling part a bit. Not completely, but enough to
free up more time to keep making new things. Things like this:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsMgF0RLK_Yn4OoFt_lrObwqt1ex8oBse7KKCdxottWAWQttS0lDF2Z5n9T-hm7EoFMbjqF9BqUoa-HMlgTpZFrPtuJq1KBdwQkOfU-xAAUY4t8-boowPsiLd5V1Y5d59oRvTiGGP0e8/s1600/Diver.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsMgF0RLK_Yn4OoFt_lrObwqt1ex8oBse7KKCdxottWAWQttS0lDF2Z5n9T-hm7EoFMbjqF9BqUoa-HMlgTpZFrPtuJq1KBdwQkOfU-xAAUY4t8-boowPsiLd5V1Y5d59oRvTiGGP0e8/s320/Diver.png" width="207" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not giving up on
selling the book. I have a few things left to try out. For instance, I’m going
to try to get a digital version of “Saturday” out in the world to hopefully let
more people see it (even though I think print is the best way to read it). I’ll
also do book events now and then.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But Life is short.
Too short to spend time doing things that make me miserable. And if ever there
comes a reckoning point before or after someone pats me on the face with a
shovel, I’d rather say I made more things than sold more things. Bang up job so
far.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, just to recap: Iff’n
you want to hear the latest about what I’m working on, mosey on over to this
address and sign up: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>http://www.noahkroese.com/blog/</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I thought about just
dropping all the email addresses I have from the Kickstarter campaign, but
something about that feels creepy. I know signup means an extra step for you
(sorry), but I’d rather ask you to opt in than add another email to your inbox
without your permission. In the words of the sage, Wilford Brimley, “It’s the
right thing to do.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sign up and you’ll
keep getting “Saturday” updates AND see whatever this odd shut-in has been
drawing lately. I’ll share projects, sketches, and my dumb, dumb thoughts. And
they’ll come right to you once a month, like the worst paperboy in history.
What do you say?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">PS: It embarrasses me
to say anything sincere or heartfelt. It feels like letting a stranger look
through my refrigerator, and I’m ashamed of a lot of the stuff in there, like
Freedom Sticks. But here goes anyway: I remain, as ever, grateful for your
support. There’s no two ways about it: I wouldn’t have been able to get this
far without your help. You helped make this book into an actual thing you could
hold in your hands. That means everything to me. Thank you. Thank you. Ask your
doctor if Freedom Sticks are right for you. He or she will definitely say no.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cheers. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-30138737091769479262016-05-27T07:00:00.000-07:002016-05-27T07:11:22.891-07:00TED talkHullo. <br />
<br />
Well, I'm not sure if the video of my speech at the TEDx conference will be posted or not, but, as the Magic 8-Ball would say, "It looks doubtful." So, in lieu of the video, I'll just post the text, along with the accompanying images. Also, fair warning: If you think my normal updates are long-winded, this one is going to seem like listening to Alan Greenspan read a James Michener novel aloud.<br />
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Here goes.<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hello. My name is Noah
Kroese, and I’d like to begin today with a moment of respectful silence for the
ordinary human being. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">We try so hard, us mortals.
But the fact is that we’re nothing more than fleshy water bags who work in
offices, pay bills, and sometimes forget the “lefty loosey, righty tighty”
rule. We live in anonymity and die in obscurity, about as noticeable as a potato.
Sure, some of the brave or foolhardy ones will try to do interesting things,
never aware of the insurmountable gulf between our own averageness and the
creative and intellectual luminaries who can actually make meaningful
contributions.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the many ways in which
my own overwhelming averageness can be measured is in my inabilities, which I
have in spades. I can’t do that thing where you stick your fingers in your
mouth and whistle. I can’t do math or spell words in my head. And I’m really
bad at estimating distances of either the literal or metaphorical kind. That
last one is important, because it turns out I’ve been overestimating the
distance between us average schmucks and those creative and intellectual
giants. My whole life. By a LOT. But I didn’t know that until I wrote and
illustrated this book called “Saturday”.</span></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPWksFCtAsyinlQD_4FBdALaGTihYfPIqTcajJ7py9P2cdkeo28x7hkkzC29RuIe5L2ebPM8RIA48f4isEo745m0r4IHgYp08iEAheuQ4VRevdGVLxLtEL9xb2t9uE4ozwVkVujvzJgO4/s1600/3_Cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPWksFCtAsyinlQD_4FBdALaGTihYfPIqTcajJ7py9P2cdkeo28x7hkkzC29RuIe5L2ebPM8RIA48f4isEo745m0r4IHgYp08iEAheuQ4VRevdGVLxLtEL9xb2t9uE4ozwVkVujvzJgO4/s320/3_Cover.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Let me explain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m an illustrator. It’s not
the most common job, but it’s not unheard of. And just about every aspect and
every result of my job is so normal it’s near invisible. When you’re leafing
through a magazine or scrolling through a website and, for a millisecond, you
glance at an accompanying image and then can’t remember you even looked at it?
That’s what I do. I draw the things you can’t even remember you saw. I do so
from home, which is even more boring than an office because there’s no one
around I can chit chat with or steal lunch from. Maybe the only extraordinary
thing about what I do is how much I love it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve pretty much always loved
to draw. I drew when I was a little kid. A lot. But I wasn’t a prodigy. My
drawings were awful. Mostly ninjas. Some robots. But mostly ninjas. And again:
If there was anything extraordinary about my drawing it wasn’t the quality, it
was how excited I was to be doing it. I loved it so much that I didn’t care how
awful I was at it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAIKrcbwrmZ2whR8w1BeUngQzMkQvt7ZxbweCEoVpW5pk5NxxkGpp34mud69nSk05HNhgqN1XPv9RUGaGmXhd50bvwY0ivP-uIF3FfgeMw3LoAJAYZGENOwww-ayQV4pSzDgaujqX4bkc/s1600/5_BadDrawing.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAIKrcbwrmZ2whR8w1BeUngQzMkQvt7ZxbweCEoVpW5pk5NxxkGpp34mud69nSk05HNhgqN1XPv9RUGaGmXhd50bvwY0ivP-uIF3FfgeMw3LoAJAYZGENOwww-ayQV4pSzDgaujqX4bkc/s320/5_BadDrawing.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I also read a lot. And by
“reading” I mean, you know, looking at pictures. Holling Clancy Hollings books,
Tintin adventures, Rien Poortvliet, Frank Frazetta. These weren’t human beings.
Somewhere, probably in some stately marble hall where your footsteps echo and
you speak in reverent, hushed tones, there were bronze effigies to these titans
who never ate ketchup or worried about the power bill.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Even as a kid, without being
told, I understood they were special people. In another league. From another
planet. Like Krypton or “Look at Me I’m So Special and Perfect Planet” (that’s
in the outer edges of the Jerkwad solar system). That’s not something people
like me can do. It’s not something ordinary people do. It’s something other
people do; people with innate abilities and knowledge that I don’t have and
can’t obtain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfal8ouAwj-rhOTpOZjbXhQ40X78hyphenhyphengffX1IiCO4j3CZj0IV8wJp2FljQzki1qZkfP7dMvmczHnAiNYk20YiEAk2i9bV6aCoKUrocc3HfY73YHsn9U5BksyVYUW4GCUKhADX5ohcNoTIw/s1600/6_JerkwadSS.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfal8ouAwj-rhOTpOZjbXhQ40X78hyphenhyphengffX1IiCO4j3CZj0IV8wJp2FljQzki1qZkfP7dMvmczHnAiNYk20YiEAk2i9bV6aCoKUrocc3HfY73YHsn9U5BksyVYUW4GCUKhADX5ohcNoTIw/s320/6_JerkwadSS.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But I was having fun, so I
wasn’t afraid to be drawing in the long, deep shadow cast by their talent.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Later on, in spite of what
turned out to be totally sensible advice from my mom, I went to college and
majored in art, drew crummy political cartoons for a couple of years, and
eventually blundered into freelance illustration.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFmw2X3KIJFc-PqKTRCG_WJ8bVxE30xGpMnnX7IIAda6EjwxU92aJr-5wN8WWrlKJI-PhzYhug3fszuKR8PO4sR70COopXUENqljvkSJ_ACMWiGL3xOIfcQRrFvWxYSBAw5yV0wpjZMu8/s1600/7_Work2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFmw2X3KIJFc-PqKTRCG_WJ8bVxE30xGpMnnX7IIAda6EjwxU92aJr-5wN8WWrlKJI-PhzYhug3fszuKR8PO4sR70COopXUENqljvkSJ_ACMWiGL3xOIfcQRrFvWxYSBAw5yV0wpjZMu8/s320/7_Work2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So there I was wallowing in
my own averageness, driving around a mostly un-rusted 1994 Toyota Camry and
eating at the finest gas stations when I had this idea for a book. One that I’d
never really seen before. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">To be fair, I was terrified. Scared
enough to sit on the idea for several years because of that fear of my profound
ordinariness. I didn’t know the first thing about writing or illustrating
books. In fact, the reason my imaginary book had gathered dust on an imaginary
shelf was because every time I thought about starting it, I would think first about
the laundry list of things I didn’t know how to do. And it was a long list. It
had regular points and sub-points.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchx7ZcIZ_K-61DOFpMsqRKPsNGy1AyEapqfsHgmQ7tEKl0UYgInpw6-FaYLZxd73FnX6wZtJRHg9y1wfdA6lQCc8RQTCedvhzxvDJg8Akiqi5RbqZa9IQG0vETCx5YNsBi17KA7fhD_A/s1600/8_List.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchx7ZcIZ_K-61DOFpMsqRKPsNGy1AyEapqfsHgmQ7tEKl0UYgInpw6-FaYLZxd73FnX6wZtJRHg9y1wfdA6lQCc8RQTCedvhzxvDJg8Akiqi5RbqZa9IQG0vETCx5YNsBi17KA7fhD_A/s320/8_List.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But I was also curious. And I
knew it would be fun. Drawing is the one place where I’m willing to follow my
curiosity in spite of my own reservations. What’s the worst that could happen?
Well, I guess the worst that could happen is that I would start drawing the
book and somehow my face would catch on fire. But it’s more likely that I would
try it, it would turn out crappy, and I’d give up. And that’s not so bad. If
that turned out to be the case, I could just bury the idea in the back yard
like a goldfish or a burned quiche and no one would be the wiser.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCl489xUmycv5mSXfxeIcsWFbMY_GfsS3duSIEJqqBYfXKvvm3R94FxCTsW_neG9jeuTbw4tK-HHP-_wgOM7uJpd04MA_pLcmcv4Vw528eMr9T3kN8nzOlG8ghXQ1xH9dAC7x5ThDn0M/s1600/9_Grave.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCl489xUmycv5mSXfxeIcsWFbMY_GfsS3duSIEJqqBYfXKvvm3R94FxCTsW_neG9jeuTbw4tK-HHP-_wgOM7uJpd04MA_pLcmcv4Vw528eMr9T3kN8nzOlG8ghXQ1xH9dAC7x5ThDn0M/s320/9_Grave.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So that’s how “Saturday”
started. It was about as profound as a rerun of “Wheel of Fortune”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">What I had in mind was a
king-sized graphic novel/children’s book with a lot of lavishly drawn detail in
every panel. It would have weird characters, goofy jokes, and cultural
references, sure. But what I really wanted was a book that the 10-year-old me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> the 30-year-old me would both want
to pick up and explore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to make
something that you could get lost in. And I did get lost in it. The aspects of
the book that made it unique and exciting to me also made it an astounding
amount of work. “Saturday” took me nearly nine years to finish. And every inch
of it was fun. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOa3Z3x47Wa_atJp5sP-UN8uhz-1yiA7MgtzYAJhyphenhyphenpS5nLAa98wHq_cLSaFkHDkK3CD8Gptvj-ZOidK_lEiHG_u6cHsUDpAC59z-VdLMen5s3r1FvpVVoYdci4dJy9VhbPEXZDRaIcFU/s1600/10_23and24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOa3Z3x47Wa_atJp5sP-UN8uhz-1yiA7MgtzYAJhyphenhyphenpS5nLAa98wHq_cLSaFkHDkK3CD8Gptvj-ZOidK_lEiHG_u6cHsUDpAC59z-VdLMen5s3r1FvpVVoYdci4dJy9VhbPEXZDRaIcFU/s320/10_23and24.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Now, it’s super important to
note that I don’t think “Saturday” qualifies as great art or that, having
finished “Saturday”, I’m now among those luminaries with their own bronze
statues. But I DO think it’s cool. I think it’s fun and interesting. But that’s
beside the point. Even if you think it’s worth its weight in soggy bread, you
can look at this book and see how much work it took to bring this thing to
fruition. It’s an intimidating amount of work. One I never ever thought I would
be able to finish. I was always my biggest doubter and critic. Mostly because
of my own acute awareness of my extraordinary ordinariness and of the distance
between a human like me, who once shaved off his own eyebrow, and the kind of
genius and talent capable of making something cool.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But I didn’t sit down one day
and say, “I think I’m going to make an epic, sprawling, ambitious book” and
then just do it. Ever see one of the old timey cartoons where someone dangles a
carrot on a fishing pole in front of a donkey to get it to pull a cart? It was
more like that. The drawing was so much fun that I didn’t even notice the cart
was behind me. And also because of that fun, I pulled that cart a distance I
thought couldn’t be crossed by someone like me. Because I have to be tricked
into doing anything worthwhile.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0onmhNeBM7S-50wQIN_zzvbE2VdYksuSiFOkRnSNk9DD1K_dTrztmS7xPhexMS_x6fMrVtPLGXdFSRBsqX-ZFLKNAiEEjtu-jnR2v07LZrvMWfD9K7Iwu5GiDYOT8-nNPAZHdaNK15WU/s1600/11_Tricked.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0onmhNeBM7S-50wQIN_zzvbE2VdYksuSiFOkRnSNk9DD1K_dTrztmS7xPhexMS_x6fMrVtPLGXdFSRBsqX-ZFLKNAiEEjtu-jnR2v07LZrvMWfD9K7Iwu5GiDYOT8-nNPAZHdaNK15WU/s320/11_Tricked.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span>
<style>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">It’d be like if I ate nothing
but fried mozzarella for six months and at the end I found out I had
accidentally competed in a triathlon. I never actually meant for something
productive to result. I just think cheese is really, really delicious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg98q6237SS_wmEirm7drXPJFT8AZz8feideTo6f_waL9ZwMnMUCwZkmbEafq9Kl7r8nm7Vjv4dMJreo4NakgWH4Iz8XiVyRqumxlpd0LteglSKcUOMNl89IEzy1sd5VPU2iFSGlHIlX3M/s1600/12_Cheese.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg98q6237SS_wmEirm7drXPJFT8AZz8feideTo6f_waL9ZwMnMUCwZkmbEafq9Kl7r8nm7Vjv4dMJreo4NakgWH4Iz8XiVyRqumxlpd0LteglSKcUOMNl89IEzy1sd5VPU2iFSGlHIlX3M/s320/12_Cheese.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I think my concept of how
cool things get made was also a bit screwy. I guess I’ve always imagined that,
not only were there brilliant people who were bestowed with godly artistic or
intellectual acumen, but also that these people thought of what they wanted to
make and then instantly willed those things into existence. I never thought
about Faulkner pacing around and chewing the end of a pencil in frustration or Renoir
having to throw a sketch into the trash because he got nacho cheese dip on it
and then he tried to wipe it off real quick but it just smeared and made it
worse. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we’re not privy to their
struggle, so we assume it came easily to them.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkYAzK454CjXkTbGEgZV2h0Vg4PlEmF9sqDZwE3twC_vhcojm99MRPsbuSzZ4kHFfR50UEv845_sIcv7nYqbckKbALfrV3g0tJxIyqYbuL_PkFz9l47-oObMTgAYARZlH0Y5v72qQD1OQ/s1600/13_TitleIdeas.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkYAzK454CjXkTbGEgZV2h0Vg4PlEmF9sqDZwE3twC_vhcojm99MRPsbuSzZ4kHFfR50UEv845_sIcv7nYqbckKbALfrV3g0tJxIyqYbuL_PkFz9l47-oObMTgAYARZlH0Y5v72qQD1OQ/s320/13_TitleIdeas.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Remember that first thing I
said? About how ordinary people are and how they can’t accomplish anything
interesting? I still think <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">half</i> of
that is true. People <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> ordinary.
But it’s the ordinary people who do interesting things. And the art and
literature and science that I admire and adore? Pretty much all of that was all
authored by regular folks. It’s a thought that’s both depressing and exciting
at the same time. Depressing because it means there aren’t really superhumans.
There’s something comforting about the idea of infallible people who always
have the right answers. Maybe because we could turn to them like kids turn to
parents when they’re confused or scared and need answers. But it’s exciting
because it means we, ordinary people, can make extraordinary contributions in
spite of our own infinite limitations. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So go forth and be ordinary.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0NdYYPxXqlh0T3pMeYXwTZ9DOtXC2Wv7QBebCP9jYgEbE-tDeAeM4dR3DgUEi-y3BsjaEkUNURCnhtDiP8S1al6MCg8d7uyc3Xcfe2kX60Fauv3lMXnLUNfbtpggiQthx8e4viwgX_Nk/s1600/14_Vault2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0NdYYPxXqlh0T3pMeYXwTZ9DOtXC2Wv7QBebCP9jYgEbE-tDeAeM4dR3DgUEi-y3BsjaEkUNURCnhtDiP8S1al6MCg8d7uyc3Xcfe2kX60Fauv3lMXnLUNfbtpggiQthx8e4viwgX_Nk/s320/14_Vault2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Go and make your thing,
whatever it is. And when you’re struggling with the work and with yourself and
your fears about whether or not someone like you can actually make something
cool, don’t forget that you’re an ordinary human being. That there’s a proud
legacy of average humans making abnormally great stuff. Part of a very long
line of people who sometimes put the milk away in the oven, bang their shins on
coffee tables, and sometimes create things beautiful enough to make your heart
stand still. That your struggle with ordinary is part of the distillation
that’s responsible for lovely things to come to fruition.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Thank you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-29652031139286164502016-05-16T08:27:00.001-07:002016-05-16T08:27:21.363-07:00Comiconclusions!
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Greetings!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve just returned
from the northern metropolis that is Spokane, Washington. The hard streets of
Spokane needed a hero; someone to fight evil and stand up as a shining beacon
of strength and decency. Maybe not the hero they deserved, but at least one
they needed. I was not that person. I drove up in my so-normal-it’s-nearly-invisible
Honda Civic, set up my table, made polite and unassuming conversation, and then
quietly left at the end of the day. But at the end of that day, I knew I had
made a difference to the city of Spokane. Because I paid $10 to park there and
that money goes to the city. Unless that garage was privately owned, in which
case I made no difference whatsoever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also when I left I had
to drive around a bit because I couldn’t find the highway onramp. I feel like
that’s not something heroes do. It’s not even something moderately-competent
people do. But there we are.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was there for one
thing and one thing only: The 10<sup>th</sup> Anniversary Lilac City Comicon.
More specifically, I attended said comicon to hock my wares like a sullen,
crooked-toothed Brit selling pewter teapots on Portobello Road (it should be
noted that my only experience with said road and market is from the movie
“Bedknobs and Broomsticks”, but I remember the song being pretty good and I’ll
watch anything with Angela Lansbury in it).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here’s what my table
looked like:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCp9stOdLVbFtXDdRrILWGEIH4uR2wYrS1xfQG1vIgdzQEsyBRwY2ijUdoTJ-ObY-Mlc0bc6hLqdKaKQi6LvzUtDO970YHd07taOmxlmBA_ZmUkSBmS2rXuetu6KENQdMp0zOazvSvPzg/s1600/IMG_1455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCp9stOdLVbFtXDdRrILWGEIH4uR2wYrS1xfQG1vIgdzQEsyBRwY2ijUdoTJ-ObY-Mlc0bc6hLqdKaKQi6LvzUtDO970YHd07taOmxlmBA_ZmUkSBmS2rXuetu6KENQdMp0zOazvSvPzg/s320/IMG_1455.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had never been to a
comicon before yesterday, so I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. My
preconceived notions pretty much all came from TV and movie stereotypes of
comicons; unwashed hordes of overweight, fishbelly-pale single men shuffling
around, pushing up coke bottle glasses and debating through excess-spittle
lisps about whether DC or Marvel has better comics. And, to be fair, there were
a few of those in attendance.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But mostly, there
were people of just about every stripe, excited to be around their tribe. Some
of them were super hip-looking, attractive, and looked like they spent a lot of
time in the gym. I was not one of those, either. If I wanted to break out into
a sweat and feel bad about myself, I’d just re-file my tax return.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have a confession:
I know you probably think I’m the coolest guy in the entire world. I know I do.
But it turns out I’m closer to the TV stereotype of a comicon goer than I am to
the suave, debonair, James Bond-like image I’m <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sure</i> you have of me. I’d be a dead ringer for James Bond if James
Bond never killed, punched, or insulted anyone, if he slouched and dressed a
little dumpy, and if he were played by Don Knotts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But there’s at least
one place where I walk with confidence and even bravado: Nerdville. The
Nerdosphere can sometimes (unfortunately) be more snobbish and exclusive than a
country club run by Robin Leach. Fortunately, I carry my nerd credentials
around with me at all times, like a scarlet letter made of useless pop-culture
references and obscure trivia. Don’t believe me?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I can quote eight
seasons’ worth of episodes of “The Simpsons”. Almost verbatim.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I get genuinely
excited about Ken Burns documentaries.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I have seen every
single episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I used to go to Star
Trek conventions. In costume.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I have a Lieutenant
Worf Commemorative plate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Oh, also I spent
nine years writing and illustrating this dorky book called “Saturday”. That
one’s a duesy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hold on a sec, I have
to fend off ladies with a pointy stick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, in spite of
having never been to this specific area code of Nerdville, I’ve lived in the
city limits my whole life. Here are my observations of this particular corner:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-It’s hard to feel
out of place at a comicon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Not knowing a lot of
the cos-play characters made me feel old, like going to the grocery store and
no longer recognizing any of the celebrities on the covers of gossip magazines.
But the costumes were, for the most part, RAD. My favorite was the person
dressed as Barf from “Spaceballs” (again, because I’m old). You can see a bunch
of the costumes here: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://www.ifindcosplay.com/Cosplay/Lilac-City-Comic-Con-2016/</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-There are TON of
talented people in the world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Sometimes I wasn’t
sure if a person was in costume or not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not sure I’ll be
a regular at comicons. I don’t know if “Saturday” fits there or not. But I was
happy to sit at my table amongst a sea of tables full of cool stuff made by
interesting people; the evidence of their strange and wonderful excitement and
myopic pursuit of the stuff they love. Surrounded by people similarly disposed
to love weird and obscure things. Some of them dressed to the nines and looking
for all the world like a very large group of misfits who have shed the polo
shirts and khaki pants of their mild-mannered, normal person disguises and
donned their freak flags.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was neat-o. That’s
all I’m saying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cheers.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-46782255673410276772016-05-11T10:21:00.000-07:002016-05-11T10:21:11.494-07:00Event: Lilac City Comicon!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDhnD93fViJmWC3YUBp-K20x8-WNFbmhUJSav8BHM3GpLF1UTAGy9b0xajOdZwhAsdKpJgQjPZ07AzLss9-GBoNJfCwkwpUxaTo4kxVSpltKHQGDXVCILPm86Nh0G34RDCP1pla6PKyQY/s1600/LLCCPromo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDhnD93fViJmWC3YUBp-K20x8-WNFbmhUJSav8BHM3GpLF1UTAGy9b0xajOdZwhAsdKpJgQjPZ07AzLss9-GBoNJfCwkwpUxaTo4kxVSpltKHQGDXVCILPm86Nh0G34RDCP1pla6PKyQY/s320/LLCCPromo.png" width="173" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-73146710860203253372016-04-24T10:54:00.001-07:002016-04-24T10:54:17.381-07:00The Roundup
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Howdy!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to the
“Saturday” update; a never-timely and never-truncated account of the exploits
of a mild-mannered illustrator who secretly fights the forces of common sense
and dignity in an attempt to foist his book on to unassuming citizens who were
minding their own business.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sorry about the delay
on this one. I had a couple of irons in the fire. Said irons are now cooling,
so I can yarn for a spell.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Have you ever watched
a rodeo on TV? There’s always a part right before the ride starts where the
camera shows the bull rider in the pen with the bull. The rider is adjusting
his grip and doing other rodeo man things and thinking god knows what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could be anything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1.) “I’ve made some
interesting life choices.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2.) “I should have
been a freelance illustrator.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3.) Nothing
whatsoever. This is probably the smartest thing to do. But also maybe how he
came to be sitting on a rage-filled 1000-pound steak in the first place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I also wonder what
the bull is thinking. He is, after all, also in that tiny little pen. He has a
performance coming up, too. I wonder if he’s nervous. Every once in a while,
he’ll buck against the pen and the whole steel cage shudders like it’s made of
popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners. Like he just wants to remind everyone
involved they’re about to have no fun. It’s MAYBE going to last eight seconds,
but it will feel like watching three back-to-back family comedies starring Ice
Cube. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Regardless of what
the bull is thinking, he’s upset, he’s probably got some poo on his flank
(which adds to his upsettedness) and his job is to go out and rage until
someone gets hurt. Like the CEO before a board meeting at Chipotle. Heyy-oooo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well, to me, the run-up
to speaking events feels a little like that part in the pen right before the
ride. And I am NOT the bull. I’m the guy sitting on top of an unstoppable pile
of muscles, suddenly a little self-conscious about the way I’m dressed, pretty
sure I have no idea what I’m doing, and aware of just how small I am.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But the gate opens
and then there’s no time to think. There were a string of rides recently.
Here’s how they went once the gates opened:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Prichard Book Event (two weeks ago)</b>: Generous hosts in my favorite
art gallery. A modest-sized, warm crowd. Afterward, I got to meet a whole flock
of ginger kids who looked like the Weasleys and were super cool and very, very
sweet. And I know this is going to sound cheesy as all get-out, but meeting
them made every struggle and every tiny indignity worth it. Ten times over.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5m3hIzfnjabR82UwQIhw4nLHPFdrYIQAUMYfZRcB2oE-RGfyGYxtts921yIjrsNobjuLyBsZXLlqegm9j_du97x-xmJI4_-pu3e5z_CEMNKQh6ebZLVnjJRBj_TlRil3p3o4UcrKseEY/s1600/12919712_10154183967098933_5094304176001751130_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5m3hIzfnjabR82UwQIhw4nLHPFdrYIQAUMYfZRcB2oE-RGfyGYxtts921yIjrsNobjuLyBsZXLlqegm9j_du97x-xmJI4_-pu3e5z_CEMNKQh6ebZLVnjJRBj_TlRil3p3o4UcrKseEY/s320/12919712_10154183967098933_5094304176001751130_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: Jade Janes Stellmon</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The TEDx talk (two days later)</b>: I practiced for weeks. I sat in the
pen before the gate opened. There were maybe 300 people in the crowd. I started
out pretty strong, but nervousness and some slide malfunctions threw me off a
bit. And then my mind went completely blank. There was just NOTHING there. I
forgot everything I was supposed to say. And, for the first time in my life, I
was so scared that I literally had the thought: “I could run away right now. I
could run off the stage and hide somewhere and no one would find me and hiding
would make it better because then people wouldn’t be looking at me anymore.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And then I paused, figured
out generally where I was, and finished it up. I think I finished fairly strong,
but I couldn’t tell you. People were nice about it, though. If the video gets
posted, I’ll share the link.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What I learned:
Forgetting my speech in the middle of giving the speech in front of an
auditorium full of people was NEARLY the worst thing that could have happened
at the worst possible time. Maybe the only thing that would have been more
embarrassing is if I had poo on my flank. But it happened and I didn’t explode.
I felt like I was going to, but then I didn’t.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I also had the
privilege to meet some pretty astounding people. The other speakers and the
organizers at the event were brilliant and funny. It was an honor to share the
stage with them.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_sSIiy0ChvMOq7YaZJUdUTCIFNU9CIp4o4-clsijFMZZADOt-NfEgmaDT8MYL3SzWQyGApeFIgyBx365t_Fzzjgra_Hyai12-eDQWbD91EkJSeLdUcfbKbReJOdthTswvcCeTVCn3Fns/s1600/12991059_963259297126884_2711466482016182344_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_sSIiy0ChvMOq7YaZJUdUTCIFNU9CIp4o4-clsijFMZZADOt-NfEgmaDT8MYL3SzWQyGApeFIgyBx365t_Fzzjgra_Hyai12-eDQWbD91EkJSeLdUcfbKbReJOdthTswvcCeTVCn3Fns/s320/12991059_963259297126884_2711466482016182344_n.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: Irish Martos</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Gibson’s Book Event (four days later)</b>: Gibson’s was SO kind to have
me. And it was a lovely bookstore. If you’re in Concord, go. You will find
something you love there, I promise. The crowd was very nice. And, as Greg Proops
said, “They honored every one of my jokes with a moment of respectful silence.”
I don’t think the presentation was appreciably different from the other times
I’ve given it. Maybe they didn’t know what to expect or I was giving off
strange vibes. But whatever it was, it felt like I bombed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And again, I did not
explode.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NEC Student Talk (24 hours later)</b>: This was a talk I was asked to
give to art and design students at New England College. It was about my
experiences as a professional illustrator. I think the college wanted a “boots
on the ground” perspective for students to consider. And I did just that. I
spent maybe an hour explaining how I got started, what a typical day is like
for me, and what I’ve learned by doing this for well over a decade. It was
great good fun, the crowd was responsive and asked good questions, and I had a
phenomenal time. Plus, the people at NEC could not have been more gracious and
accommodating.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJwNdCqiBFSW4Uwn5P-SGrKfKqBOOGZs0KknFKiM3SSdJNBuh-cjzs9DGkEZifx1h1QrsX8KAARLrls3CXSfefvWV-tg1MgZBi1UoMaZK-xwo-V0KIKIIwHf6-bbVIYW2nQBgbfu_3b0/s1600/IMG_1439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJwNdCqiBFSW4Uwn5P-SGrKfKqBOOGZs0KknFKiM3SSdJNBuh-cjzs9DGkEZifx1h1QrsX8KAARLrls3CXSfefvWV-tg1MgZBi1UoMaZK-xwo-V0KIKIIwHf6-bbVIYW2nQBgbfu_3b0/s320/IMG_1439.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo Credit: Devon Mozdierz</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">NEC Illustration show (one hour later)</b>: Directly following the talk,
there was a show of selected illustrations of mine (mostly from the past four
to five years). This was my first show since college. Again, the good folks at
New England College thought of every detail and took care of everything. They
did a beautiful job hanging the work. There was a lovely reception where I had
the pleasure of meeting and chatting with students and faculty. It really could
not have been cooler and it was an honor to speak and show my work for them.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRJ1lqytehFJNOIShBusTVGk3CBU8NxFPNScKWVd6lPXQLpGx3ZaB5CYsno4ZsQuTBo5xn8Uc5o7PwZ4ScRdSlEjZQPdx3TthCNBZ5KtyWzkKE1y_DTunlc2AE6YzfADNSKN6KF7NlnE/s1600/IMG_1428.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRJ1lqytehFJNOIShBusTVGk3CBU8NxFPNScKWVd6lPXQLpGx3ZaB5CYsno4ZsQuTBo5xn8Uc5o7PwZ4ScRdSlEjZQPdx3TthCNBZ5KtyWzkKE1y_DTunlc2AE6YzfADNSKN6KF7NlnE/s320/IMG_1428.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhirb-_WYsBBkiXeJgUM2Zvc3kre-fgUxs6Dv_Y8cw9eT4r364UbGl-5NhxcUFEwKtQ6pAyI2jr78kx2raFtpkmfIyM_lJwNFPmZhqaQh09lvFSdKQky5GbKCd1sf53pPAn0UtKOL3fU/s1600/IMG_1443.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhirb-_WYsBBkiXeJgUM2Zvc3kre-fgUxs6Dv_Y8cw9eT4r364UbGl-5NhxcUFEwKtQ6pAyI2jr78kx2raFtpkmfIyM_lJwNFPmZhqaQh09lvFSdKQky5GbKCd1sf53pPAn0UtKOL3fU/s320/IMG_1443.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo Credit: Devon Mozdierz</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This round of rides
is done. I’m brushing the mud off and scampering away while some very helpful
rodeo clowns (the only acceptable kind of clown) are keeping the bull from
wrecking me further. The scores have been tallied and they’re not bad. I’m not
taking home whatever prize you get if you win the rodeo (A belt? A lifetime
supply of Ben Gay? A scholarship to a technical college where you can learn a
trade that’s NOT riding a dangerous animal?), but I did ok.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m grateful for
every opportunity I’m given to tell people about “Saturday”. I want to share it
with people and, so far, this is the best way I know how. But it’s scary for me
every time. Standing in front of people doesn’t come easily or naturally to me.
Maybe it’s the same for bull riders. Maybe they’re not even scared of the bull.
Maybe the real fear comes from the crowd. That screaming, frenzied crowd made
up of individuals who nevertheless become one massive thing. A monolith whose power
and judgment can make you a god or a soggy piece of sidewalk trash at its whim.
Maybe that’s the true heart of fear.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Never mind. That’s
crap. Bulls are scary as hell.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whelp, I’m off to
look for another rodeo. BTW, if you haven’t left a review on Amazon and you’re
game to do so, please do. It will help me out a lot. Here’s the link: </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Saturday-Noah-Kroese/dp/0692476326?ie=UTF8&redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0">http://www.amazon.com/Saturday-Noah-Kroese/dp/0692476326?ie=UTF8&redirect=true&ref_=cm_cr_ryp_prd_ttl_sol_0</a></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cheers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Roll credits. Cue
music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtVeDaZxAXo</span></div>
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-13091543586944857752016-03-21T11:20:00.000-07:002016-03-21T11:20:07.623-07:00Late in Life
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hullo.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to the
“Saturday” update, which comes out every couple of weeks like clockwork. If,
that is, you happened to fish your clock out of a tar-filled dumpster. And then
you gave that clock a laundry list of things to do on top of telling the time.
And then you bashed it with a framing hammer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Brief Progress
Report:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Saturday” is now
available at Hastings. But only the one in Moscow, Idaho. Which is great. If
you happen to already live here. Or if you happen to be passing through for
some reason. Or you got lost and you wound up here. Otherwise, the new venue
just isn’t going to be all that helpful to you. I should maybe work on my
salesmanship.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m also working on
putting “Saturday” up for sale through Amazon. And by “I’m working” I mean some
very nice, Amazon-savvy people have agreed to do it for me. It’s one of the few
times where I’m letting my own complete ignorance stop me from doing something
instead of blundering on ahead. And I’d like to take this opportunity to
apologize once again for that unfortunate eulogy I tried to deliver in Hebrew.
I swear I didn’t know that word meant “buttface”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I think I can also
safely announce at this point that the East Coast book signing and presentation
will take place at Gibson’s bookstore in New Hampshire on Wednesday, April 13<sup>th</sup>.
Time TBD. Again, this is a pretty specific location, but if you happen to be
near that place on that day, groovy. Swing on by. You can watch me make a
jackass of myself in person, rather than having to see me do it through the
computer screen. I’ve always believed firmly that jackasserey is a very personal
medium and should be done up close. It’s just more satisfying that way. For
you, I mean. For me, it’s much, much more humiliating because I have to see the
look of disappointment and empathetic embarrassment written on your face in a
way I don’t have to when I type these on the magic machine. These are things
I’m learning as I go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Have I ever mentioned
that I learn things late?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Last week I learned that
the month of August was named after the Roman emperor Augustus, because of his
fondness for summer wear. I learned recently that the word “Nazi” is short for
“National Socialist”. I also just learned that peanuts grow underground.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That last one messed
me up. I seriously thought peanuts grew on trees. Or at least on some kind of
bush, like a lot of the other nuts. Nope. Having to admit that I didn’t know
one of the most basic facts about one of the most vital building blocks of the
snack-osphere…well, it was humbling.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This very slow, arduous
crawl up the side of the learning curve doesn’t just apply to small things,
like nuts and months named after long-dead Roman dudes. In my case, it also
totally applies to big things. Let’s take one at random, like, say…decade-long
projects involving lavishly-illustrated books.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">With “Saturday”, I
didn’t really know exactly what I wanted to make until I’d made it. Let’s be
clear about this: That’s a stupid, stupid way to do anything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But one of the things
I learned from it was that there’s a certain kind of story I want to tell and a
certain way I want to tell that story. Again, I didn’t know that until I had
worked on “Saturday” for nine years. Which is weird, right? Who does that? It’s
like some kind of crazy automatic writing or a Ouija Board, except with
drawing. A LOT of drawing. The kind that eventually reveals as much about the
author as it does the endeavor.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That kind of trite
premise could easily be the flimsy plot of an inspirational “Lifetime” movie
event of the week. Let’s imagine some tag lines for said garbage parade, shall
we?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #d99594; font-family: Allura; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themetint: 153;">“He thought he was discovering how to
write a book. But he ended up discovering…himself.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #d99594; font-family: Allura; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themetint: 153;">“The journey took him into a world
he’d never been before…his own heart.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #d99594; font-family: Allura; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themetint: 153;">“He told the story he’d always wanted
to tell. And ended up telling the story he never wanted to tell…the story of his
heartbreaking addiction to prescription nasal spray.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That last one really
went off the rails. And I totally want to watch it now.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also…barf.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Imagine if you could
only learn after you’d already done something. Seems like it would bode poorly
for most undertakings, particularly the important ones. It’s inefficient if I
have to screw it up royally on the first attempt before I can produce anything
half way decent. And by the time I’ve finished that first attempt, it’s too
late to do it over again. It’s going to be an awkward conversation to have with
my first born. Probably through a plexi-glass window while he or she is wearing
an orange jumper.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Look, Icepick,
sweetheart,” I’ll say in my most conciliatory tone of voice, “I know I didn’t
do so hot with you. And I’m pretty sorry about it. But on the bright side, your
younger sibling is doing super well.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that’s how I roll. To quote Ben
Bernanke, “It’s like trying to drive a car forward by only looking in the
rearview mirror.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least my first try
at stuff gets to be a surprise for me, too. Granted, the word ”surprise”
doesn’t always connote good things. A hamburger with steel wool in the middle
is a surprise, but not one you’re overjoyed to discover.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also in the bright
side category: I kind of know vaguely what I want to do for the foreseeable
future: Make fun books. Ones with odd characters, crazy drawings, lots of
detail, and a very specific kind of humor. I also want to tell different
stories every time. I can pretty much promise that there will never be another
“Saturday” (not from me, anyway). And, as already discussed, it’s too late to
make “Saturday” for the first time. Which is kind of a shame, because it was
real fun. But if you’re up for a lot more drawing, puns, babbling, and
hand-wringing, I’d also love to share whatever results with yous guys.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So. What have we
learned?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not sure. Give me
a minute.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cheers.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYIl2m90-yJvTmWns3K3TCiTfKMQfMC_9TzeIwzuCejX4oVljvDmZmcvBRNC6fyOe-xyYAin6oUMJNeh1TDc70trN9evPtXkIAebP6DGfV0z4ArR4YP2alcmvqWB4RZVca7S-xkVeCbk/s1600/30Color.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYIl2m90-yJvTmWns3K3TCiTfKMQfMC_9TzeIwzuCejX4oVljvDmZmcvBRNC6fyOe-xyYAin6oUMJNeh1TDc70trN9evPtXkIAebP6DGfV0z4ArR4YP2alcmvqWB4RZVca7S-xkVeCbk/s320/30Color.png" width="175" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-52908837217990359072016-03-10T07:41:00.000-08:002016-03-10T07:41:25.559-08:00Heaping Portions
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hullo friends!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hope you’re hungry,
because here comes the “Saturday” update: a hefty word casserole that’s been
ever so slightly warmed by the 11-watt bulb of my Easy-Bake brain.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First off, a progress
report for the past couple of weeks: I’m still prepping to deliver a speech
about “Saturday” and the creative process at a conference in early April. The
speeches will be filmed and possibly posted on the intertubes. I say “possibly”
because the organization in charge carefully curates everything, so not every
speech will be posted. If mine DOES make the cut, I’ll post a link. If my
speech and I go over like Conway Twitty opening up for Anthrax, I’ll at least
post the text of the speech so you can gleefully watch where it all went wrong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The week after that
conference, I have a show of my illustrations (including some pages from
“Saturday”) at New England College (second week in April). While on the east
coast, I’ll probably also be doing an event at a bookstore where I jaw about
“Saturday”. I’ll let you know the specifics when I have them. If you’re within
a convenient distance around then and you’re up/down for swinging by, I’d love
to meet you in person. If you’re in the area and, for whatever reason, no
matter how crucial, you can’t make it, you’ll be dead to me. I don’t care if
you’re donating an organ, under house arrest, having a baby, or all three at
once.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I also gave the
“Saturday” bookstore presentation to a group of near-graduation B.F.A. students.
The class, called Professional Practices, helps to prepare seniors for the
realities of life outside college’s serene, ivory bosom. I assume I was invited
to speak as a cautionary example. I’m essentially a hobo with a B.F.A., except
I don’t carry a bindle. I DO, however, wear those boots where my toes stick out
of the front and can oft be heard whistling my merry hobo tunes like “The Big
Rock Candy Mountain” or “It’s Rainin’ Men”. So I gives my speech to the class
like the Ghost of B.F.A. Students Past, warning them to change their ways lest they
end up in a horrible place (standing up in front of college students, for
instance) and the response was…measured. College students are a tough crowd. It
turns out I may not be as cool as I thought I was. Maybe more hobo jokes will
win them over next time.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, I’ve been
thinking a lot lately about what exactly “Saturday” is. And the conclusion I’ve
come to is that what it is is problematic. Like a Duck Billed Platypus, brunch,
or a keytar, “Saturday” seems to sit squarely on the fence between several pairs
of classifications. It’s a graphic novel <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i>
a children’s book. It’s for kids <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i>
adults. It’s a brainless romp <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> a
dense, esoteric tome on existence. Or whatevs.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As if that weren’t
enough inbetween-iness, here’s one more: “Saturday” is a product. It looks and
quacks like a book, it’s sold in stores, and it has a barcode and everything.
And not to brag, but once every six weeks or so another sucker—er…informed,
intelligent consumer, exchanges legal tender for a copy of “Saturday”. That’s a
product. Case closed. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Except, as I may have
possibly already said like a gajillion times: I didn’t bother following the
rules you’re supposed to follow when you’re making a product like this.
Publishers and agents tell you in no uncertain terms what they want: Clearly
defined genres, clearly defined target audiences, page counts commensurate with
said audiences, etc, etc, etc. And I, like a petulant, Schmidt-for-brains
teenager, was like, “Pffft. Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not the boss of
me, publishers and agents with decades of experience.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Like my parents,
driver’s education instructors, and parole officers, you might reasonably ask
me at this point: “Son, what in god’s name were you thinking?” And, true to my
greasy, slouching, teenage form, the only answer I can muster is a slack-jawed,
“Uhhhh…I don’t know.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I guess I was
following my passion, trying to make the thing I wanted to see out in the
world, and acting on instinct and intuition without really bothering to think
about the money or the consequences. And I think that might make
“Saturday”…(shudder)…art.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can’t honestly say
I ever set out to be anything in particular. But I did set out NOT to be an
artist. Mostly because I had a cartoony conception of who and what artists
were: A cross between a mustachioed villain and an uppity, self-absorbed
pseudo-philosopher. Like if Snidely Whiplash did performance art. I have no
clue as to where this idea came from, but I was sure I didn’t want to be seen
that way. But it turns out that pretty much all the artists I’ve ever met have
been decent, normal humans who are just trying to make genuine, interesting
stuff. And that’s what I was trying to do with this book.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So I guess that makes
“Saturday” a product <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> art.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This amorphous-ness
is a real pain in the area between the lower back and the upper thighs. I likes
it when things fit nicely into pre-determined categories. And I guess so does
just about every agent and publisher out there. It’s just easier to sort and
organize the world when there’s a place for everything and everything is in its
place. Think of the cleanliness and simplicit of a place where the pieces all
fit nicely somewhere.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And then, some jerk
like me comes along and purposefully makes a thing that won’t fit in the
categories or on the shelves. There’s a bit of cognitive dissonance going on
between the part of me that likes order and the part of me that creates things
that disrupt that order. It’s like that old story about Dr. Organized Jeckyll
and Mr. “Don’t tell me what to do I’ll make whatever I want and there’s nothing
you can do about it Hyde”. I wonder how he fit all that on to his business
cards.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Anyhoo, the fact that
“Saturday” don’t fit into categories real good makes marketing and promoting a
bit tricky. BUT, there’s something you can do to help, iffin’ you’re so
inclined: Would you think of some nice things to say about “Saturday”? You
don’t have to send them to me or anything. For now, if you’re game, all I’m
asking you to do is think of one or two things you like about the book and
frame them in your head. I’m not fer sure where they’ll go just yet. I may ask
you to post them to Amazon at some point or I may put them up on a new website
if you’re amenable to such a thing. But you’ve said some pretty astounding
things about the book. You’ve said them far better than I could. And I think
people would listen to you more than they would to me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It would help. But,
like I said, no big deal if you don’t wanna. You’ve totally already done
enough. And I’m still grateful for that.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ok. That’s that. You
made it to the end of the casserole. It’s time to unbutton your pants and push
yourself back from the computer screen. You probably feel that you’ll never
want to read again. But in a couple of hours, leftover update sandwiches are
going to sound really good.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What? That makes ZERO
sense.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cheers.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-63023855834887722832016-02-11T20:54:00.000-08:002016-02-11T20:54:27.463-08:00Checking in
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hi, there.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I know, I know: The radio
silence has been deafening. I apologize. I’m sure you’ve all been aimlessly
wandering around and wondering how you can possibly fill the void left behind
in the absence of these rambling, word-bloated updates. That, or “Saturday” and
your support thereof has slipped completely from your mind like that one
show…what was it called again? It had that one guy. Anyway.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t worry: I haven’t
forgotten the people who helped get me this far, and I want you to know: As
soon as I’m a mega-colossal-superstar, I will.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So, I’m going to try to send
out updates more often. Don’t worry: you can always unsubscribe whenever you
like. But if I were you, I’d keep watching. Mostly because this is going to be
like one of those crazy Japanese game shows or an episode of “Cops” where the
people involved will have awkward things happen to them over and over again.
You watch and wonder as they’re humiliated repeatedly and shout at the picture
tube, “Don’t you ever learn from any of these experiences?” But they never do.
If you’re anything like me, there’s part of you that finds that delightful.
Only this time, it’s at my expense. Which is even more delightful. But only for
one of us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Lately, I’ve been working on
a presentation to give to bookstores when I visit. “Saturday” isn’t really a
“read-aloud” book, so the speech is about how “Saturday” got started, the
process, and the like. I’ve only given the speech once and it went…well, it
went. I prepared for weeks. Ten people showed up. 20% of those in attendance
were my parents. I was close to going out and paying homeless people to sit in
the audience. But I’m an illustrator, so I didn’t have any cash on me right
then and there. Or anywhere else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve been invited to speak at
a TEDx conference. I’ve also been invited to have a show at an East Coast
college in the spring. Both of these things are because of the book. I’m
grateful for the opportunities, but they’re also terrifying. Having people look
at me while I say words is not my favorite. But I suppose I’ll have to don my
big boy pants. It’s just that, when there’s a group of people looking at me, it
doesn’t feel like I’m wearing my big boy pants. Or any pants at all. And that’s
awkward for all of us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve also been contacting
bookstores to see if they’d like to carry “Saturday”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Approaching bookstores turns
out to be a lot like dating. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My</i>
experiences with dating, at any rate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Here’s an phone exchange I
actually had trying to date in high school. I wish I were making this up. For
the sake of privacy, let’s call the girl Bee Arthur. And we’ll say my name is
Burt Reynolds. No, wait. You already know who I am, so I don’t need a disguise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bee Arthur: “Hello?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “Uhh…Hi…Bee?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bee Arthur: “Yes?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “It’s me, Noah, from
school?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bee Arthur: “Yes?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “Hey…I was wondering if
you’d like to get together sometime and hang out.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bee Arthur: “Why?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me (confidence evaporating):
“Uhhh….so we could get to know each other. You know…uh….and be friends.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bee Arthur: (Sharply) “I’ve
got friends.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “Uhh…ok. Well, uh…cool.
I’ll see you at school or something, then.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Click.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Turns out Bee Arthur was kind
of a jerk. Actually, that’s not really fair. We were in high school, after all,
when social skills are usually…underdeveloped. And she just got a call from
some guy she didn’t know who was asking her to hang out, which was probably
off-putting. Fortunately, I forgot completely about the whole thing and I
haven’t held on to that confidence-ruining moment all these years like a
jalapeno eating at the lining of my emotional stomach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">(Cries quietly).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Anyway, I’ll meet a bookstore
I think is interesting and find out we have a lot in common. Then I’ll think,
“I could try to engineer a ‘chance’ meeting by showing up and pretending it was
a coincidence, but that feels a little like stalking. Better to just be honest
and upfront. I’ll call and let the bookstore know I’m interested. “Saturday”
has a lot of good qualities, after all. If I could just get the bookstore to
notice those qualities.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Then I call. Just getting
people to look at the book is difficult. And the rejections still sting like
getting Clorox brand shampoo in your eye. “We don’t have the space for your
book” feels a little like “I have to wash my hair”. “Well”, I think, horribly
butt-hurt, “if you’re not going to be honest, I hope you use Clorox brand
shampoo when you’re washing your hair. And I hope you get some in your eye.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">That’s not fair, either.
Rejecting someone, particularly a sincere someone, is awkward. Or so I’ve
heard. I’ve only ever been on the receiving end of said rejections.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">(Cries quietly.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ll keep at it, even though
I’m starting to feel like Jack Lemmon’s character in “Glengarry Glen Ross”. I’m
not sure who Alec Baldwin’s counterpart would be in this scenario. Anyone
competent to do the job of marketing, probably. I’ve also decided I’m going to
enjoy the marketing and promotion side. It has to be done, after all. It would
be silly to spend pert near a decade on a book and then not bother to let
people know it exists.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Yup, here I go. I’m a gonna
enjoy this awful marketing. Sorry, that ‘awful’ just slipped out. Ok, enjoyment
of stupid marketing starts now. Shoot. Actually, I’ll tell you how I’m going to
enjoy the marketing of “Saturday” with a joke:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">How do you fit an elephant in
a Safeway grocery bag?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
Answer: Take the “S” out of “Safe” and the “F” out of “Way”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ll give you a minute to
consider that one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the meantime, I’m going to
keep at it. I’ve got two scoops each of stubborn and stupid, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Welp, I think that about
wraps ‘er up. I think we’ve all learned something here. And I think I’ll let
Corey Hart tell you what that is:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4pg6Jh94Lo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4pg6Jh94Lo</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Thanks, Corey. BTW, if anyone
reading this plays a mean sax, I’m looking for a good solo to accompany a
montage of me looking back over my shoulder with as much dreaminess in my eyes
as I can muster.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Cheers.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-36993293486651955032015-12-31T10:22:00.002-08:002015-12-31T10:22:55.913-08:00What Now?
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<br />
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ah, New Year’s Eve.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">We’re just about to turn out
the lights and lock the doors for the last time on 2015. This time of year is
calm like a flat tire: quiet and motionless because all the air has been let
out and it ain’t goin’ no further. It’s a great time to sit and reflect. Or, if
you’re anything like me and you’re terrified at the torrent of existential
thoughts that rush in to fill up the vacuum of silence, it’s a great time to do
busy work with the radio on while you tap your fingers nervously and your left
eye twitches.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">We always claim that the end
of the year sneaked/snucked up on us. But it takes an entire year for it to do
so. If the end of the year were a monster in a horror movie and took an entire
year to chase us down, I’d be rooting for us to have our faces eaten. I’d be
yelling at the screen and pointing, certain that the characters inside the
magic talkie box can hear me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU! AND
IT HAS BEEN FOR LIKE A YEAR!” Plus, the end of the year happens, like, every
single year. Why are we always so surprised?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Mebbe because we never really
know what the year is going to throw at us. I’m also always surprised by how
much gets crammed into a single year. Like Mary Poppin’s carpet bag (if her bag
contained things like holiday travel and colonoscopies instead of lamps and
other household durables). For instance, here’s 2015 in a nutshell:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Finished the book.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Got rejected by like a
million publishers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Put together and ran a
(successful thanks to you) Kickstarter campaign.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Printed the book.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Sent the books to you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Had my first book signings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Got engaged.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Learned peanuts grow
underground.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So…what happens now?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Welp… I’m not too sure. See,
we’re past the part where I know what the eff is happening. I mean, at least
when I was working on the book or trying to get it printed, there was a
clear-ish start and finish. But now it’s this big, open-ended…thing. I guess
it’s a process? One where my connections and social capital are really going to
come in handy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So…if any of you happens to
own a large publishing company and you’d just plum forgotten up until this
moment, drop me a line.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">While I’m holding my breath
for all those mucky-mucks at the publishers to come crawling back, I’ll continue
to do signings and promoting the book where I can. It’s now available for sale
on my website (there’s also a list on that page of the other outlets where
“Saturday” can be found) if you know of anyone who’s looking for a book that’s
non-standard in just about every way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">http://www.saturdaythebook.com/p/m.html</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">There’s a part of me that’s
super cavalier. There’s also a part of me that’s fairly cautious. Maybe a big
part. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The latter is like having a
driver’s education instructor constantly inside my head, depressing the
passenger-side brake pedal every time the car is in any gear other than “park”.
I picture him as having a well-trimmed mustache and wearing a tie with a
short-sleeved shirt. He has my safety in mind and means well. But were said
instructor to have control of the wheel, I’d never get anywhere interesting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">He’s fond of rules. And
following them. There’s a set of rules for just about everything. Here’s the
set he wrote about books (this is in the manual under “Creative Endeavors”,
Chapter 64, subsection C):</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Do not attempt to
write and illustrate your own book.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">If you decide to disregard
Rule #1 (doing so may invalidate your warranty and result in serious injury or
death), be sure to read, understand, and obey the following rules:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Choose an
acceptable, pre-existing genre and subject matter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Decide the size
and format of the book based on ease and cost-effectiveness of printing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Choose your
target audience and tailor every element of the book to their interests.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Send the idea out
to agents and publishers for vetting. If the idea does not garner interest,
shelve it. If an agent is not interested, no one will be interested.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">NEVER SELF
PUBLISH.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But, like I said, he doesn’t
have control of the wheel. I do. And it’s about time to get back on the road. I
kinda feel like starting on that next book. And not paying much attention to
the manual (again).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m afraid of a lot of
things. Spiders. Clowns. Contracts that involve a lot of legalese that I’m
expected to sign. Responsibility. Germs. Clown germs. But when it comes to
drawing, I’m not afraid of much. Not because I’ve carefully considered the
dangers and know how to diffuse them. Not because I’m brave. It’s because I
know there’s fun to be had. My pursuit of that fun is stronger than my fear of
what might happen if it goes wrong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">There’s nothing wrong with
the rules. But I don’t think that following them will get me anywhere that
interests me. There’s fun to be had in another direction, so I’m headed that
way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s just that, because of
that passenger side brake, I’ll be going there very, very slowly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Cheers. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-34579326545579006932015-12-05T10:05:00.001-08:002015-12-05T10:05:40.528-08:00This and That.
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hiya,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just wanted to send out an update and give everyone the
skinny. You know: the scoop, the D.L., the Q.T., the juice. First off, my 1950s
slang class is going really well. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, I had my first book signing at our local bookstore
(Bookpeople of Moscow), who were gracious enough to fit me in during a pretty
busy season. It went very well. It was short, but there were loads of people who
said nice things about Saturday right to my face, which is where I prefer nice
things to be said. Granted, A.) I knew most of the people who came and, B.)
They have to continue living in the same small town with me and so are socially
encouraged not to be super mean because I’ll see them again in the future and I
can hold a grudge longer than a Hatfield and McCoy put together. You hear that,
SHELDON? I haven’t forgotten about that thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I digress.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It reminded me how much I love our community and why I love
my hometown. And that was maybe the most Rockwellian thing I’ve ever said. Gah!
Sincerity. Quick: Think of a fart joke to wash the taste of real emotion out of
your mouth!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Books are arriving at their new homes at various rates and
times. I know because you’ve been telling me. Not right to my face this time,
but to my computer, which in turn tells it right to my face. And you’ve also
given me some of the best compliments I’ve ever had. I will keep these
compliments with me and take them out when I need them to keep me warm, like
when you put a hot potato in your pocket on a cold wintry night. What? You
don’t do that? Well, it’s great. Plus, your pants smell like potato, so…bonus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where was I? Oh, yeah, reviews. While it’s flattering to
receive compliments from people I know, it’s also nice to get them from
strangers. They’re not obligated to be kind the way friends and family sorta
are. For example, here are a few of the internet reviews that have come in:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I.M. Realperson: “This book great!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phil Intheblankreviews: “SATURDAY<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is a terrific product. I use<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SATURDAY<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>every day and I don’t know how I ever got along without it. I would
definitely recommend SATURDAY to a friend.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ReviewBot3000: “This book adequately conforms to human
standards.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NoahsMom: “Is this where I was supposed to type something?
I’m not sure how this thing works. Love, Mom.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PaidReviews.com: “Your service or product is good.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? How dare you suggest these aren’t real, live humans
giving my book four star reviews. All these reviews are merit-based, like every
other review on the interwebs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, jokey jokes aside (NEVER!), y’all have said some
beautiful things about the book, and I’m grateful. One person (granted, a
friend I’ve known for 15 years, but still…) brought up the amount of “care” put
into Saturday. I think it’s a great word that nicely sums up my goals for the
book. I cared deeply about every panel and every page. And I’m happy to now be
sharing that with you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ugh: “sharing”, “caring”, “community”: Today’s post is just
an all-star lineup of mushy words and sentiments, isn’t it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, a few S.F.A.Q. (Somewhat Frequently Axed Questions):</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">International
Shipping Costs and their existential ramifications:</b> (Yup, I thought I’d
start out with the most exciting topics in case you lose interest and don’t
read the rest): I substantially undercharged for international shipping. But
the explanation is simple: I’m dumb. So much so that pretty much all that extra
money pledged for Kickstarter (thank you), went toward shipping. No bigs. It
was never about money. Given the amount of time and personal money I’ve
invested, CLEARLY, it was never about money.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My brother in law, who’s very smart and very business savvy,
did a quick calculation of the entire affair and told me that, if I sold every
single book, I stood to make a couple hundred dollars. It forced me to
acknowledge that I’m a bad businessman. But I’m good at making fun things and
sharing them with people. So I suppose that’s the point for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve talked about my goals for Saturday many times (good
craftsmanship, big, strange, funny, etc.). But the pie-in-the-sky goal was to
make something that people want to read over and over and something that maybe
possibly maybe inspires people the way my favorite books inspired me. The only
problem with that goal is that there’s no real way for me to know it’s
happened. The only thing I can do is make something as fun as I can and then
share it. And that part HAS to be enough for me. It has to be satisfying and
sustaining for me (because the money sure isn’t going to do either of those
things).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Now?</b> Book
events, maybe some comicons, etc. Work-wise, I’ve started a new series of fun,
single-character poster illustrations. They’re sort of a palette-cleanser after
eight years working on the same project.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEighJWCtKGl3Hdxr3vOPSuBUB8rlPbUcataQYcV4oq9E-sVhXXn6WxGQ8WPoiC9iqRM4ifJfMNY9sIonBSWhwHA__vZVhEJNpSq8ip7PvM7FgA44tvzA4fa93LhEv1KH_HVpfF-piYFyHM/s1600/Scoot.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEighJWCtKGl3Hdxr3vOPSuBUB8rlPbUcataQYcV4oq9E-sVhXXn6WxGQ8WPoiC9iqRM4ifJfMNY9sIonBSWhwHA__vZVhEJNpSq8ip7PvM7FgA44tvzA4fa93LhEv1KH_HVpfF-piYFyHM/s320/Scoot.png" width="207" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibgc5u15zc-VsfzoPOLcc57EmM80T47jngEuTOowTNOyJkf4LNLf4mURDR80lKV2Rqgf3mKHv8ewuGFBTHX4pe2Z3YQxI6lAHNWAAyTVyuJTUE1HD-ZaqeJg_XMpDPureAXrsu-kd5m28/s1600/Surfer.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibgc5u15zc-VsfzoPOLcc57EmM80T47jngEuTOowTNOyJkf4LNLf4mURDR80lKV2Rqgf3mKHv8ewuGFBTHX4pe2Z3YQxI6lAHNWAAyTVyuJTUE1HD-ZaqeJg_XMpDPureAXrsu-kd5m28/s320/Surfer.png" width="207" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When will the next
book come out?</b> I’m not too sure on that one. I’ve started a new book, but
it’s on hold right now. I can’t jump straight from one book to another. I need
a breather. But I will definitely keep you in the loop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, that’s enough jibba jabba. If you made it this far, you’re
probably exhausted. Re-hydrate and relax for the rest of the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thank you again. For everything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Noah</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-19057448666625053972015-12-01T08:37:00.001-08:002015-12-01T08:37:42.041-08:00Firstest Book Signing of Saturday!
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hullo!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good news: I’m having my very first book signing! It’s at
our beloved <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Bookpeople</b> of Moscow on <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Thursday, December 3<sup>rd</sup> from 6-7
pm</b>. It’s the first time my book <u>Saturday</u> will be available at a
bookstore (which is pretty exciting for me).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Haven’t heard of <u>Saturday</u>? It’s a lavishly illustrated
book about an odd family, a rotten swamp of a week, and the wild ride back to
almost normal. It’s chock-a-block full of strange characters, odd cultural
references, mostly-appropriate jokes, and enough detail to choke that one kind
of pig that only eats details. So, it’s like…a lot of detail.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m skeptical, Noah,” I hear you say, skeptically, “I mean,
sure, <u>Saturday</u> is so elaborately drawn it makes me want to spit on an
illustrated manuscript* and the book’s size is wide enough to sit a family of
three quite comfortably*, but is that really enough for me to want to take this
book home?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Certainly not, sir or madam. Why, there’s a whole host of
other reasons to bring “Saturday” home to your loved ones. And here they are:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Saturday is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">multipurpose</b>!
It’s a mix between a graphic novel and a children’s book. It’s the spork of
books!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-This book will sit by the door (assuming you leave it by
the door) and wait loyally for you to return every day. It’s reading material
AND a companion. It will also guard your house while you’re away. I mean, it
won’t DO anything, but it will be there if someone breaks in. Perhaps the thief
will be distracted when they see the book and sit down to read it instead of
stealing anything. Then you’ll have TWO companions waiting when you get home.
Awww.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Own a piece of history! This being a book and all (ask your
grandparents if you’re unfamiliar with the medium), it continues the proud
tradition of Gutenberg and it’s printed on paper just like the…er…ancient
Egyptians used to use! Why, paging through Saturday is like traveling through
time. Bring a big stick in case you have to fend off Morlocks*.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-It’s funny (in parts). Aren’t you tired of all those
children’s books about tax law and estate planning? Good news! Saturday has
almost none of those things and way more of the stuff enjoy, like bathroom
humor and enough references to “The Golden Girls” to make you Blanche!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why, with that bushel-full of reasons and my charming,
country-fried way of a’ speakin’ (he said, with his thumbs hooked beneath his
suspenders), I’d reckon you’re just about all outta excuses. So come on down to
Bookpeople of Moscow (<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Thursday December
3<sup>rd</sup> from 6-7 pm</b>) and pick up a swell gift for your loved ones
just in time for the holidays. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of my
book, too. Or just swing by to say ‘hi’. In the immortal words of England Dan,
“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout movin’ in, and I don’t want to change your life, but
there’s a warm wind blowin’ and the stars are out, and I’d really love to see
you tonight (Thursday night).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">*Don’t spit on any
illustrated manuscripts. Think of the feelings of the long-dead monks, please.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">*Assuming this
family’s…ahem…southern borders, side by side, measure no more than 18” across.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">*Don’t bring a big stick to
Bookpeople. It’s probably against store policy. And anyway, Morlocks live
underground, so no worries.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPswNv-OHjDb-mUqGhzNtm2cEGhZIxjdMMl0BCyq8PD_zAS9WCK5sQhe96E4VaBPbfG5Ewdii84aBL8h3qYBLTvlyuEaW0EnFgpVYJbivlhM7d7zr-MrGP2VquR6f162x_gu2YZelliBg/s1600/Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPswNv-OHjDb-mUqGhzNtm2cEGhZIxjdMMl0BCyq8PD_zAS9WCK5sQhe96E4VaBPbfG5Ewdii84aBL8h3qYBLTvlyuEaW0EnFgpVYJbivlhM7d7zr-MrGP2VquR6f162x_gu2YZelliBg/s320/Cover.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-45182397475739777932015-11-25T08:11:00.000-08:002015-11-25T08:11:19.194-08:00Hissy Fits and Giggles
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Remember that long, whiny
email I wrote, like, three days ago?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Voice of Reason: “You mean
the one where you were having a hissy-fit over an ever-so-slightly delayed
shipping schedule? The one where you had a Bieber-esque tantrum about having to
wait for three seconds? The one where you felt a suffocating load of stress
crushing you like a fat horse sitting on top of a marshmallow Peep but it was
actually just a thing that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">didn’t</i>
happen and thereby ended up being a (shudder) normal-in-every-respect-week?
That email?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “Uhh…yeah. That one.
So…you remember?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Well…Good news! The books
came!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">They were delivered by an
honest-to-goodness trucker named Kelly. 1,500 pounds (680 kg) of pure, un-cut <u>Saturday</u>,
baby. Hey, by the way: did you know I can lift 1,500 pounds? I mean, not all at
once (heaven forefend; I have delicate illustrator’s wrists). But broken up
into very small increments, I can lift that much weight. Eventually. To be
fair, I had help from a neighbor who is, fortunately, not an illustrator. He’s
a construction worker who also plays rugby. Which worked out real good for one
of us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">We moved the books inside (my
everything hurts today) and then I spent the next eight hours unpacking,
signing (180 books! My delicate illustrator’s wrists!), and re-packing. Today,
my totally awesome parents drove an hour and a half in bad weather to help
their miscreant adult son pack boxes. We worked like beavers who are just about
to get fired from beavering and are terrified because they have beaver bills
and a beaver mortgage to think about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then I spent several hours at the Post Office where a group of employees with
saint-like patience helped me mail them (well, there are a few left).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">They’re on their way to you
(unless you didn’t fill out your survey, tsk tsk finger wag tsk). I don’t know
when they’ll arrive. Particularly if you live outside the US. Hopefully before
the holidays. In the meantime, I’ll make something you can print up and give to
people in lieu of the book in case it doesn’t arrive in time (thanks for the
great suggestion, David O.).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">If you live in the United
States, Thanksgiving is Thursday. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I just realized what a stupid
sentence that is. Even if you live in another country, the American holiday of
Thanksgiving is STILL on Thursday. Your geographic location does not effect the
date of a major holiday in another country.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Let me start over.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hey, Thanksgiving is coming
up! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">And what better time to count
one’s blessings? That’s totally the point according this made-for-TV docu-drama
I saw on the WB network. It had that guy from “Saved By the Bell” (not the main
guy, the other one) and I think I remember it was really touching or something.
Anyhoo, I thought I’d make a list of the things for which I’m grateful, in the
spirit of the docu-dramas:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Books that arrive
eventually.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Construction workers/rugby
players who are amenable to helping lift heavy things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-My parents, for pretty much
everything, ever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Patient Postal Workers</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-My (totally condescending,
uppity, I-told-you-so) voice of reason.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-You (you know why; let’s not
make it weird, ok?)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">-Sleepy time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ok. I’m going to go soak my
everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You helped make this possible. And
someday I hope it gets portrayed in a made-for-tv docu-drama starring that guy
from “Saved by the Bell” (not the main guy, the other one).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Cheers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-47525451732747722402015-11-21T12:00:00.002-08:002015-11-21T12:00:57.031-08:00The way-yay-ting is the hardest part.
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Waiting Game</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you ever stopped to think about how many types of game
there are (board, video, wild, etc.)? I’ve played my share. My favorite is
probably Ticket to Ride. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a phenomenal board
game where you pretend to be a railroad tycoon bent on world-domination. This
is only slightly different than my everyday disposition, so it’s not much of a
stretch for me to play the game. I just don my beaver-pelt top hat, grease the
curls of my mustache and forge my rail empire one stretch of track at a time,
preferably on the backs of opposing players. Mwa ha ha ha.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But for every great game there have to be at least three
crap ones. Operation, for instance, is grotesque and traumatic. You attempt to
remove foreign objects from the open wounds on an angry patient with a clown
nose (who, I might add, is fully awake) without triggering the nerve-grating
sound of the buzzer. Monopoly is a game where you can mortgage yourself back to
the Stone Age in order to drive your fellow players into poverty and
homelessness. And then there’s “Sorry”, the only game that apologizes in
advance for the dearth of fun waiting for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I have to say my least favorite game is the waiting game
(with the possible exception of the crying game). Seriously, who thought up
this game? I can picture the Milton-Bradley meeting now:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boss: “So, what are our ideas for new games, people?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phil: “What about ‘The Waiting Game?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boss: “How do you play it?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phil: “Well…you just wait. You pick something to wait for
and then you just… wait for that thing.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boss: “I’m not sure I get it. What’s fun about that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Phil: “Oh, nothing. It’s actually pretty awful.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boss: “Well, what makes it a game?”<br />
Phil: “It says ‘Game’ in the title.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boss: “Well…it still sounds better than ‘Operation’.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been playing the waiting game for weeks now, and my
stress level is at a fever pitch. It feels like I showed up to school without
pants on test day while the dentist in clown makeup maniacally revs the
pneumatic drill in the background. Last week, the books were going to arrive
Monday. On Monday the date was moved to Thursday or Friday. On Thursday, it was
moved to Monday or Tuesday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why am I so nervous? I guess “Saturday” feels like my child.
A child that took me almost ten years to create. And then I found a company in
Hong Kong with a reputation for manufacturing quality children to make a large
number of them all at once. And now they’re done and on their way, having been
sent overseas on two pallets in an unheated cargo ship and sat in customs for a
while. The metaphor sorta falls apart pretty quickly, but I think you get the
point. Or, at least, I hope you do, because I’ve lost my train of thought.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suffice it to say my best-laid plans have gone awry. I was
hoping to has the books by now. But I will has them. Hopefully soon. And once
here, “Operation Send-Books-To-Super-Awesome-Kickstarter-Backers” will resume.
At this point, it looks like the clunkily-named operation will resume at the
tail end of this month or early in December. Past the deadline by a goodly amount,
I know. But I had zero control over this part. Still, I apologize for the
delays.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I’m on the subject, here’s something to keep in mind:
Since the campaign closed, I’ve been cobbling together boxes, labels,
addresses, and a pile of other things to get ready to send the books (I was
hoping for some cobbling help from magical elves, but I guess their union only
allows them to work on shoes). I’ve done everything within my limited mental
and financial capacities to make sure the books get to you safe and sound. The
boxes are sturdy, the labels meticulous and clear, and the bubble wrap will hug
each book like an ugly, squeaky sweater. But once mailed, they’ll be literally
and metaphorically out of my hands. Fingers will be crossed, lucky charms will
be employed, and hope will be hoped against hope (whatever that means) that the
books arrive in a timely and undamaged manner. But I can’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">promise </i>either. I would hand out every book in person if I were A.)
A guy with unlimited money and time and B.) Not slightly afraid of air travel
after this one flight I won’t get into but that made me pee a little bit. Since
neither are the case, I’ll have to ask in advance for your patience and
understanding (both of which you’ve already given generously and for which I’m
grateful).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know: You’re waiting, too. And in the grand scheme of
things, being a bit stressed out about the arrival of the books is no biggie.
It doesn’t always feel like no biggie, but I know it is. I’m impatient to share
“Saturday” with you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, TL;DR: The books aren’t here yet, but hopefully will be
soon. I’ll send ‘em out soon as I gets ‘em. In the meantime, here’s some of
what’s waiting for you inside:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirVhA0st8YvVuePZsuZTG-QE2mbxu-4ZoJGw9x5Tt0bIVGbnEBUkbp1jg9VLDTMjw5JXZWpuynJaSDdtDMRgGnIdjYNEemTgDU_hg1jEZ3LrHk2BhNPmXKNUJTWtNob2fe9MvEYvoonpU/s1600/SatPage24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirVhA0st8YvVuePZsuZTG-QE2mbxu-4ZoJGw9x5Tt0bIVGbnEBUkbp1jg9VLDTMjw5JXZWpuynJaSDdtDMRgGnIdjYNEemTgDU_hg1jEZ3LrHk2BhNPmXKNUJTWtNob2fe9MvEYvoonpU/s320/SatPage24.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheers.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-79822155020443940122015-11-06T07:04:00.000-08:002015-11-06T07:04:05.576-08:00Maps, Stacks, and Flapping Yaps.<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
Oh, hi there.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
You
ever have one of those days where it seems like you’ve been doing
nothing but assembling boxes and making labels in order to ship out your
over-sized book about a creative and depressed little girl named India
McGreevy?</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
No?</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Huh.
Well, I have. A bunch of them, as a matter of fact. Stacked one right
on top of the other like…like cardboard boxes. I’ve been so wrapped up
in the rigmarole and mishigas of preparing to ship that I completely
forgot to bore you all to tears with a long-winded, hyper-verbose and
over-hyphenated update.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Well, let’s rectify that right now, shall we?</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
First
off, I’d bet you’ve been just dying to hear about boxes. “Oh, man,” I
hear you gripe to your significant other/cat/potted fern as you pace a
hole into the orange shag carpeting/linoleum/floor of the International
Space Station, “if that guy…what’s his name? Doctor McDraws-a-Lot or
something? If he doesn’t tell me about those boxes pronto, I’m going to
write a sternly-worded letter to my congressman/member of
parliament/fiesta cruise director.”</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Calm down, Sir/Madam/Your Grace. The boxes are done. 145 (insert colorful descriptor) boxes. Finally assembled.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM44j1kvfRpexcqxVIsct1MbieL0myb59mO7AxVE_LMMTdQ4DV9zxqnAFaBQWqtb9TnfjVelS38IdWRlHuut5Zi0o_rXeh_J10hiLMHACkNE8yw3lWKyFeNfvL3TthugO_2GE5IcDdrBA/s1600/Boxes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM44j1kvfRpexcqxVIsct1MbieL0myb59mO7AxVE_LMMTdQ4DV9zxqnAFaBQWqtb9TnfjVelS38IdWRlHuut5Zi0o_rXeh_J10hiLMHACkNE8yw3lWKyFeNfvL3TthugO_2GE5IcDdrBA/s320/Boxes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
Assembled while I watched TV. </div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Assembled while I had my tea. </div>
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Assembled and it was a bore. </div>
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I do not want to do no more.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
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I’ve also just finished the labels. Take a look at this:</div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5H_aRAPbmqHT2_EegAmkROXzxo5-3B8T_zbkGS5BNBAlR2bC2CQKUtDialJBVHc3H5i6hFZMUbUnvDv0HjIRbEsMGOWrEsCDhaoBU3ZV38HBsP8peH-88_pn9TC_xhyrSp4SY1gPX8WM/s1600/KSMap1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5H_aRAPbmqHT2_EegAmkROXzxo5-3B8T_zbkGS5BNBAlR2bC2CQKUtDialJBVHc3H5i6hFZMUbUnvDv0HjIRbEsMGOWrEsCDhaoBU3ZV38HBsP8peH-88_pn9TC_xhyrSp4SY1gPX8WM/s320/KSMap1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Each dot represents 10,000 books (minus 9,999 books).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh78yx3oCi_YZ0cHsUxgbUUqkGyhvc27i0y4Q_RW4apjIK4NoNSH_mNN77KfLLF-jkSPDsqy_njyLVMKXCF_w5dL_Dna9vI5jnsXSkGth0N3qWzZ8ZBS74i7GhwLC-K2trM2_5A7cubpVs/s1600/KSMap2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh78yx3oCi_YZ0cHsUxgbUUqkGyhvc27i0y4Q_RW4apjIK4NoNSH_mNN77KfLLF-jkSPDsqy_njyLVMKXCF_w5dL_Dna9vI5jnsXSkGth0N3qWzZ8ZBS74i7GhwLC-K2trM2_5A7cubpVs/s320/KSMap2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
This
is everywhere the outbreak has spread. As you can see, major parts of
the Eastern Seaboard have been heavily infected. Wait, that’s for a
different presentation. Disregard. These dots are everywhere a book is
going. I have packed them each a little snack and pinned mittens to
their tiny jackets because books are dumb and often lose their own
mittens, regardless of how many times you remind them not to.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
29 states (U.S.) and 16 countries.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
It’s
been super cool to see how far away the book is going. The number and
variety of locations is fascinating to a bumpkin like myself. Of course,
there is some unpleasantness: There are many parts of the world where
no one wanted a book. Entire continents, in fact. I’m looking at you,
Greenland. Ahem. And don’t give me that crap about your Internet being
down, either. What? You’ve got Comcast? Oh. Well, I guess that’s a
different story. Carry on, then.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Speaking of things sent overseas, look what came in the mail last week:</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUus6KI5rxafOjBRKYOg71Kspdx1_1hs6oDd70b5OlgF8Yt2fBOqwSlROSz-GXSGVvdiTtuUxrYFMmmZYZhZ71F7Gm5L49GJ9ej9yVH7eNsHVIhz72KowUpM7L1dieiaQfmWKLxOFWwnY/s1600/Book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUus6KI5rxafOjBRKYOg71Kspdx1_1hs6oDd70b5OlgF8Yt2fBOqwSlROSz-GXSGVvdiTtuUxrYFMmmZYZhZ71F7Gm5L49GJ9ej9yVH7eNsHVIhz72KowUpM7L1dieiaQfmWKLxOFWwnY/s320/Book.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That glare is the spot UV. It cost extra. You're worth it. And you smell nice.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
Calm
down, that’s just the advance copy. And there’s only one. BUT, I DID
finally hear from the printing company. The full shipment of books is
supposed to arrive at my door <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_1351577741" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ">November 20th</span></span>.
Now, there’s a big asterisk next to that date. Things happen. Shipments
get delayed, clerical errors are made, there are sea monsters that look
like weird, badly-drawn pigs with horns that spout water and sometimes
attack seagoing vessels according to this map I found in an old book.
You know: the usual stuff.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
But
if I actually do receive the books around then, I should be able to
send them on to you a few days after. Which is why I’ve spent the last
several weeks entombed in cardboard boxes like a grouchy pizza.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
What
will I be doing in the meantime? Customs forms! 30 individual
government forms in triplicate so that I can send “Saturday” off to
distant lands.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Grousing
aside, have I mentioned that I’m fairly allergic to expressing sincere
emotions? I am. But here goes anyway: Thank you once again, to everyone
who supported the campaign and is excited about the book. It’s coming
sooner rather than later.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Ok, I have to go grab my epi-pen.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
Sincerely,</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
The Grouchy Pizza
</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #0f2105; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-90287280741405873572015-10-11T10:44:00.001-07:002015-10-11T10:44:25.839-07:00Worriment: Like Merriment, except crappy.
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hello!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I haven’t sent out a transmission in a
little while, so I figured I’d do so today and bring everyone up to speed.
Which, at the moment, is glacial. Yes, we’re hurtling toward the date where the
books will be mailed out at the speed of an elderly person writing a check in
line at the grocery store. The wind screams through our hair and our cheeks are
making that gross, wet slapping noise because the air is forcing itself into
our mouths like a bad junior high kiss. I think I can see time bending around
us, such is the rate of acceleration.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Which is to say, not much has changed
since I last checked in.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve been making boxes. So many boxes.
And let me tell you: When it comes to exciting subjects to put into an update,
boxes are pretty hard to beat. Yup…boxes. More or less identical brown
cardboard boxes being assembled at a steady rate. That’s…uh…</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jl;askdjf[ewqowejlksajfv;’jlmmllllljlaksdnv;lkansdf’lkjdjjjjjjjjjjal;skdnva;lsdkjf[pqeisj’;valhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sorry, I fell asleep on the keyboard
while I was typing that. Where was I?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh, yeah. The state of things.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Have I mentioned I’m a world-class
worrier? Well, I am.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m a serviceable cook. I can juggle
competently. I’m a good illustrator. But worrying is where I really shine. I
worry about things that have already happened. I worry about things that are
currently happening. I worry about things that haven’t happened yet. You might
say I’m….tense. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But my specialty these days is worrying
about things over which I have absolutely no control. I like the worry to begin
as an idle thought and then blossom into a sweaty, futile exercise in anxious,
repetitive thoughts and twitchy circular logic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fortunately, the process of getting
physical copies of “Saturday” to all of you provides plenty of opportunities to
do just that. I’m currently working on the following worries:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books won’t be printed on time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books will be damaged on their way
to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books will be lost on their way to
me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books will arrive when I’m not
here and something will happen to them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-I’ll screw up the shipping labels and
they won’t make it to you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books will be damaged on their way
to you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-The books will be lost on their way to
you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Clowns.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m mostly focused on the very top
worry at the moment. Here’s what it sounds like in my head:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Me: “Hmm…that’s weird: the advance
copies of “Saturday” haven’t arrived yet and I haven’t heard anything from the
printer.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Worry: “Well, no one is saying
something bad has happened and the books aren’t going to make it here on time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “Uh, yeah. Someone is
saying that. You’re saying that. You just said it and now it’s in my head.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Worry: “I’m only saying it to
show you that it’s so unlikely that no one is even bringing it up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me: “You just brought it up.
And now I can’t un-think it. So that was completely unhelpful and insane.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Worry: “Well, no one is
saying you have a mental illness.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Fun times. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But here’s the good news: You
don’t have to do anything! I’ll take care of all the worrying so you don’t have
to. I’ll also keep you in the know about the schedule and what nots. All you
have to do is wait. Which, I guess directly contradicts the thing I said at the
beginning of this paragraph. But waiting is something you can do passively. You
can do other things while you’re waiting and the waiting will still get done
while you’re totally checked out. It’s like a file download. Or listening.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Wait, what?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ok. If you have any questions
about anything, I’ll be here. Just in my own head. Rocking back and forth
gently and muttering.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Cheers.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-76879770980122969742015-09-01T10:22:00.003-07:002015-09-01T10:22:26.855-07:00Saturday Kickstarter 2 Launch!
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Dear Everyone,</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Salutations and a happy
Tuesday to you all. It’s officially September 1<sup>st</sup> and today’s the
day I launch my Kickstarter campaign to help fund the printing of my giant
illustrated book, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Saturday</b>. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Haven’t heard of it? </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Big Caslon"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Saturday</span></b><span style="font-family: "Big Caslon"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is
a great big book about imagination, creativity, an abysmal week, and family. If
that sounds more cheesy than Pizza Hut's Mozzerellapocalypse Pizza, keep in
mind that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Saturday</b> also involves
robots, dinosaurs, aliens, references to "Carrie" and
"Bladerunner", Estelle Getty-like old ladies, and some bathroom
humor.</span><span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjIiKZd7lZYQGGAT06UJSusStXMZeMuPYik7wdb2VibzRpXqm6FzNgEREmiDs1jm6YwlYkCdYxpCeBqoLlOKVdUNe4dYriN2mdBDKFLpaUeFJfwhZJNVzAGEkeL6Kygllgg023ATrwvQ/s1600/Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcjIiKZd7lZYQGGAT06UJSusStXMZeMuPYik7wdb2VibzRpXqm6FzNgEREmiDs1jm6YwlYkCdYxpCeBqoLlOKVdUNe4dYriN2mdBDKFLpaUeFJfwhZJNVzAGEkeL6Kygllgg023ATrwvQ/s320/Cover.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">How could I possibly
fit all that into one book? Well, I’ll tell you: almost a decade’s worth of
elbow grease did the trick. Saturday also includes my patented “Work-On-A-Thing-Until-You’re-Half-Dead”
technology. And now by supporting this campaign, you can finally get your hands
on your very own copy. You can also get custom stickers, postcards, posters,
and see me look awkward on camera. If you’re a fan of good craftsmanship,
elaborate illustration, quirky humor and odd cultural references, this is the
book for you.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">The campaign is
fairly short (it ends Sept. 20<sup>th</sup>) and the number of books and custom
rewards I have to offer are limited, so jump on it if’n you’re interested. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">To visit, support, or
just gawk, click <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2024291706/saturday-the-colossal-comic-of-illustrated-odditie" target="_blank">here</a>:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";"> https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2024291706/saturday-the-colossal-comic-of-illustrated-odditie</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Thank you for your
time.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Most sincerely,</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Big Caslon";">Noah Kroese</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-86058629648451298142015-08-16T11:44:00.000-07:002015-08-16T11:44:51.018-07:00Life's a PitchHiya Folks,<br />
<br />
Welcome to the freshest, most innovative post about "Saturday" the book you're likely to briefly skim this week.<br />
<br />
If you're not exactly sure what "Saturday" the book is, lookie <a href="http://www.saturdaythebook.com/p/about.html" target="_blank">here</a>. If internet ennui has made the thought of clicking another link unbearable, let me summup: "Saturday" is an illustrated book about imagination, creativity, a crappy week, and family. If that sounds more cheesy than Pizza Hut's Mozzerellapocalypse, keep in mind that "Saturday" also involves robots, dinosaurs, aliens, references to "Carrie" and "Bladerunner", Estelle Getty-like old ladies, and some bathroom humor.<br />
<br />
"But, Noah, " I hear you ask, "how can you possibly fit all that into just one book?"<br />
<br />
Well, I'll tell you: About a decade's worth of elbow grease did the trick. "Saturday" also includes my patented "Work-On-A-Thing-Until-You're-Half-Dead" technology. That, and the fact that the book is big. It's 40 pages jam-packed with lavish illustration, humor, and odd cultural references.<br />
<br />
<br />
"Where can I get this book, and how soon?"<br />
<br />
Well, good news: Soon. No more than a couple of weeks. See, I'm making great progress on a second Kickstarter campaign where I'll be selling the book for the first time ever. All that work and fun and imagination crammed into one place tighter than a Japanese subway at rush hour. And like said subway, even with all that density it still manages to be polite and smell nice.<br />
<br />
"Oh, wow! I would pay a billion dollars for a book like that!"<br />
<br />
You're in luck, friend, you won't be paying a billion dollars. Or even half a billion. Not a million. Not a hundred thousand or even ten thousand. Not a hundred dollars. No, folks, you can have "Saturday" for just one single payment of $35 dollars during our exclusive upcoming Kickstarter campaign.<br />
<br />
I can hear your incredulity, friends. I can hear your guffaws of skepticism. "Oh, come on, Noah, how can you possibly afford to sell the book for $35?"<br />
<br />
I can't. That's why I'm running the second Kickstarter campaign to help pay for the printing. Hey, I'm a decent illustrator and a pretty cruddy businessman. Jay-Z said "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man." Well, it turns out I'm neither a businessman or a business, man. Which is why I'm selling the book for the low, low price of $35.<br />
<br />
But wait, there's more! If you help make the Kickstarter campaign successful, I'll throw in stickers, postcards, posters, and maybe even some other rewards. Look, stickers:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrasn6hyphenhyphenZIKHYNox-2x2WSZKiCUn-E55joPYyCXmT6-RLni_T_OhQ95Bjo0cq33Ovs4P-CKdYGZn-noUdz1eI7OLBnK-_GaY_2sdf9fXP-bUEc6SPW4fjP4YglrBOxr6Vx3QOz0C1CKqs/s1600/Sticker1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrasn6hyphenhyphenZIKHYNox-2x2WSZKiCUn-E55joPYyCXmT6-RLni_T_OhQ95Bjo0cq33Ovs4P-CKdYGZn-noUdz1eI7OLBnK-_GaY_2sdf9fXP-bUEc6SPW4fjP4YglrBOxr6Vx3QOz0C1CKqs/s320/Sticker1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh83HlPURfhrsWez9HvpxBOQ_iJmqiMkNbdDisA-3g8KsT-9wah4PQcMGwFPez-CixG4xo-LAqeYJjxt4O-YmWtVvtOnSZy7kzpK8Nfh9PLGRxQ5J3NPTjvdgokspqgzBzcxQpKXkiXfx4/s1600/Sticker2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh83HlPURfhrsWez9HvpxBOQ_iJmqiMkNbdDisA-3g8KsT-9wah4PQcMGwFPez-CixG4xo-LAqeYJjxt4O-YmWtVvtOnSZy7kzpK8Nfh9PLGRxQ5J3NPTjvdgokspqgzBzcxQpKXkiXfx4/s320/Sticker2.png" width="319" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SOHZdhIb0dSCaXVtpcG4uKnkAsPBdU4ufBM2j0d-TvjzffmvD47JM5mDoBAdqyk0Tt2N7lBcECtu5K4_gNktrbqiwuKF3qbl9fysZd_P1nYYCyPsivr7qzb9eBA0eL0nhar-G4plv7w/s1600/Sticker3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SOHZdhIb0dSCaXVtpcG4uKnkAsPBdU4ufBM2j0d-TvjzffmvD47JM5mDoBAdqyk0Tt2N7lBcECtu5K4_gNktrbqiwuKF3qbl9fysZd_P1nYYCyPsivr7qzb9eBA0eL0nhar-G4plv7w/s320/Sticker3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
And postcards:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQX9w_Ooa4mdJe9bdjNMd6aWQeU80p_UcHLTsNh-B_wYYtGUARvst0JVMiJaL_gMA7JEICKauVz2C66c4fEsmsqjvCtJLYgPB2ZaHDJ_gJBAB2TFc7a_eRxgsQcMS1HPPfru1V-ztZ-A/s1600/Postcard1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQX9w_Ooa4mdJe9bdjNMd6aWQeU80p_UcHLTsNh-B_wYYtGUARvst0JVMiJaL_gMA7JEICKauVz2C66c4fEsmsqjvCtJLYgPB2ZaHDJ_gJBAB2TFc7a_eRxgsQcMS1HPPfru1V-ztZ-A/s320/Postcard1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitt_P7A0ds_nPURNF7mTmxqQz3my9tUrqQZrXJwq961LzVu-HloAVp-dlaj5UGoxSW5-PLNgXqMf45PQGHo42S-zv2V8anbNKz3IiVO_1g3Xi1lwOJydaniEK95xBLi41Tyk_-qQ21OyE/s1600/Postcard2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitt_P7A0ds_nPURNF7mTmxqQz3my9tUrqQZrXJwq961LzVu-HloAVp-dlaj5UGoxSW5-PLNgXqMf45PQGHo42S-zv2V8anbNKz3IiVO_1g3Xi1lwOJydaniEK95xBLi41Tyk_-qQ21OyE/s320/Postcard2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLQe0T6umZOWYoUs-q3oIh9eN3WLqmWKlB-QsnZirCsydTaQx-zrSc9VjBLGx9qblOYIqyPJzQMmuANQ9Q1jWLBE2J-pCz_W-GXFAzbC1RWU-Vc1ZRTsJZ-Ulu9urpSBwaVSmilAD41Fk/s1600/Postcard3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLQe0T6umZOWYoUs-q3oIh9eN3WLqmWKlB-QsnZirCsydTaQx-zrSc9VjBLGx9qblOYIqyPJzQMmuANQ9Q1jWLBE2J-pCz_W-GXFAzbC1RWU-Vc1ZRTsJZ-Ulu9urpSBwaVSmilAD41Fk/s320/Postcard3.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
So, stay tuned, folks. All this and more will be yours quick, fast, and in a hurry. And for prices that will make you realize why I buy off-brand ketchup.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-48297334607231219472015-08-02T11:36:00.001-07:002015-08-02T11:36:29.071-07:00Process, Printing, Pipers and Prattle.Hello!<br />
<br />
Welcome to this week's update of "Saturday" (the book). If this whole kit and caboodle is new to you, "Saturday" is an illustrated book about the McGreevy family, a trying voyage through a week in which all manner of turbulence and frustration pile up on said family, and their roundabout way back to smooth sailing.<br />
<br />
If the term "kit and caboodle" is new to you, it means a collection of small items. This has been learning anachronistic colloquialisms, with Noah Kroese.<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh, wait. I can't wrap it up there. I have more things to tell you.<br />
<br />
<br />
The final files have been sent to the printer. It doesn't feel real, exactly. Granted, there's a possibility that some problem will be found and I'll have to make a change or two and upload the files again, but the book is more or less done. Now all I have to do is wait for the proof. And put together the second Kickstarter campaign.<br />
<br />
This involves all sorts of odds and ends, some little and some big. I know I did this once before, but I literally remember about 11% of the process of putting together the first campaign, so my previous experience isn't exactly helpful. It feels like applying for a job as an adult and using high school job experience on the resume.<br />
<br />
Interviewer: "It says here you once had a job digging ditches and then filling them back in."<br />
Me: "Uh...yeah, that sounds right."<br />
Interviewer: "So...can you tell me about that experience?"<br />
Me: "....Not really. I think the metal part of the shovel goes into the ground and you hold on to the stick end of the shovel. The whatchacallit...the handle, that's it."<br />
<br />
Interviewer: ".....Welcome aboard!"<br />
<br />
<br />
At any rate, it's looking more like late-August for the launch of the second campaign. You might be thinking: "Haven't you already pushed the date back a couple of times?" Yes, but there's a lot to do and I don't want to put together something slipshod. I also basically have to learn to shoot and edit all over again. At least for the purposes of this small video.<br />
<br />
If my pushing back the finishing date of a project is starting to sound eerily familiar, well...good news! I can only push back the date so many times because eventually the printer pipers will need to be paid. Also, isn't there something comforting about someone so obstinately consistent? In this crazy world of fast-moving technology and ever-changing political and social landscapes, isn't it nice to have someone you can count on to be slow and predictable?<br />
<br />
No?<br />
<br />
Yeah, me either. But I tried.<br />
<br />
Anyway, enough blathering. Here's a thing to look at:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDfB8OtVHqP08c98TStmfVckwEphrxUc0kZsXDoR7bwoFAkqyHJ4wRiWdA3zxMX2tYAWMQbOIXtcmFCt3k23F9sPBdFfqMIrNDwYmjvYbDVcpEisb2L3Uf6Jy6xFYbFthl_AI1QXSf0u4/s1600/27Sketch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDfB8OtVHqP08c98TStmfVckwEphrxUc0kZsXDoR7bwoFAkqyHJ4wRiWdA3zxMX2tYAWMQbOIXtcmFCt3k23F9sPBdFfqMIrNDwYmjvYbDVcpEisb2L3Uf6Jy6xFYbFthl_AI1QXSf0u4/s320/27Sketch.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp5za1nOosAWTpu-CoPiqG4lDNpQ3ZKiD4lj8G3WKlvwyqGtfG2ZhLZIBNwekY02N1Z5eXY6x8KNKz9Ksu4TORBNa2PV1WOrupXZkD77KyuCmN1mIXCs7ErAGvu2T9cD41Sho5E4yxNKg/s1600/27SketchandOL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp5za1nOosAWTpu-CoPiqG4lDNpQ3ZKiD4lj8G3WKlvwyqGtfG2ZhLZIBNwekY02N1Z5eXY6x8KNKz9Ksu4TORBNa2PV1WOrupXZkD77KyuCmN1mIXCs7ErAGvu2T9cD41Sho5E4yxNKg/s320/27SketchandOL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmkTE1jBhIp4m_kodtBGTWsjqDx3gpCVAquC0WYtEO4JmeXImXgGFG2eZD_WefOrckxQq28WNLvmXsFX7H81_Qrg87TMDrUU9MriaqO35fSr1QYZDUzQDPB27Qd4xiFwcUytnch74o2mU/s1600/27OL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmkTE1jBhIp4m_kodtBGTWsjqDx3gpCVAquC0WYtEO4JmeXImXgGFG2eZD_WefOrckxQq28WNLvmXsFX7H81_Qrg87TMDrUU9MriaqO35fSr1QYZDUzQDPB27Qd4xiFwcUytnch74o2mU/s320/27OL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWGsU4eoU3XxXFKy2gFYGb5FdyE8aJKX2l7YR4MOWWpW8zZ5pNxcVUG1g3BWW48eiHVH3UsYtxnSY05EqkQ1E2ZZ_sAMVVWLZSrMfALIw9XbFmsk4lWPlXOCOsgcmQWwhbGVRcb3ou28/s1600/27Flat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWGsU4eoU3XxXFKy2gFYGb5FdyE8aJKX2l7YR4MOWWpW8zZ5pNxcVUG1g3BWW48eiHVH3UsYtxnSY05EqkQ1E2ZZ_sAMVVWLZSrMfALIw9XbFmsk4lWPlXOCOsgcmQWwhbGVRcb3ou28/s320/27Flat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP4i4IEYD-a8R1cSiwOgiA3JgxlMrSx9GiMeyTtQ2rzZilhI6RfEYiRy6LePnw__8cImeWTO_c7AAclcAA2VYXhVZGNGlpSg-TmExDtP_pN47Lq4TyRy0smpjEzHsnNdbWij6-ijLG8n8/s1600/27Final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP4i4IEYD-a8R1cSiwOgiA3JgxlMrSx9GiMeyTtQ2rzZilhI6RfEYiRy6LePnw__8cImeWTO_c7AAclcAA2VYXhVZGNGlpSg-TmExDtP_pN47Lq4TyRy0smpjEzHsnNdbWij6-ijLG8n8/s320/27Final.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is what a panel looks like from start to finish. This one is from page 27. What does this have to do with all that gobbledygook above? Um...they're tangentially related...I guess. It's from "Saturday" and...uh...other things. Mostly, I think it's a cool panel. And "Saturday" is, in my opinion, filled with cool panels. And I want you to be curious enough to support the next Kickstarter campagin.<br />
<br />
The campaign that's coming.<br />
<br />
Soon. <br />
<br />
And now I'll stop talking.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-20638297626271428702015-07-19T12:10:00.001-07:002015-07-19T12:10:46.948-07:00I like a book with a big back cover.Howdy!<br />
<br />
Welcome to the latest update of "Saturday" (the book), where things are a-happenin', let me tells you. But where are my manners? If you have no idea what any of this is and are interested enough to have read past the first sentence, allow me to explain: "Saturday" is an illustrated book about a little girl named India that I've been working on for approximately a billion years.<br />
<br />
Actually, there's a pretty good description of things on the back cover, which I just finished:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzDfZPH5gXdfPRkv_L-9eKit6TUeJ7MZSQtYBjGD3WxIRJHNELho3qLcbyrbFR6P_l69nl3tQaLepgwGWy6GjzvPXQsrVSQqZponTKvcLXI_SCbJ_xj5w7eGoldYgBPZewPJ4rjnULog/s1600/BackCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzDfZPH5gXdfPRkv_L-9eKit6TUeJ7MZSQtYBjGD3WxIRJHNELho3qLcbyrbFR6P_l69nl3tQaLepgwGWy6GjzvPXQsrVSQqZponTKvcLXI_SCbJ_xj5w7eGoldYgBPZewPJ4rjnULog/s320/BackCover.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
It's got an ISBN and a barcode and everything. This book is totally, actually, like, for reals happening. And, what's more, the edits are (probably) done. I put that "probably" in there because I still have to take one or two last looks at the pages to make sure I didn't forget anything. Kind of like when you're checking out of a hotel room or some kind of mental asylum. Let's see: Keys? Check. Wallet? Check? Doll made from human hair? Check.<br />
<br />
In a way, wrapping up "Saturday" does feel a bit like when I left the asylum; exciting, a little scary, and a little wistful. I looked things over and and a flood of memories came back: the first time I failed a Rorschach test, my first metal cafeteria tray heaped with jello salad and creamed corn, the first time Nurse Ratched had the guards haul me to shock therapy. But I also realized that nostalgia wasn't going to helpful. Mostly because those same guards were bound to discover my escape at any moment and I had to run for it.<br />
<br />
But I've said too much. <br />
<br />
Anyhoo, a few scaled fences, a cross-county run from the search dogs and an assumed identity later<br />
brings us to the present, where I'm just about to wrap up the second mental illness-fueled section of my life: A children's book with enough detail to drive a sane man to crazy town and a crazy town resident to super-duper crazy town, which is in an adjacent county.<br />
<br />
The edits are pretty much done. I have to format the files and send them to the printer. Once that's done, there will be a proof and then the books will be printed and shipped. Probably sometime in mid-September. In the meantime, I'll be starting up the second Kickstarter campaign to get the books out to you. This will probably be mid-August.<br />
<br />
I don't have everything figured out about the Kickstarter campaign yet. It's not going to be just the book. Not that the book is anything to sneeze at. It's the best work I've ever done. But if you decide to get the book through the next KS campaign, I'm going to make sure it also comes with some cool stuff. I just don't exactly know what that stuff is just yet. <br />
<br />
But we're getting there.<br />
<br />
By the way, big shout out to the Chief for throwing that marble fountain through the asylum wall and making this whole thing possible. And also to everyone who has supported and continues to support the book and the crazy guy who's been working on it. Thank you.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-86576922082880693982015-07-05T09:00:00.000-07:002015-07-05T09:00:00.457-07:00Look at this Dummy.Hello!<br />
<br />
Welcome to the latest update of "Saturday" the book. If you're just joining us, Saturday is an illustrated book about a creative little girl named India McGreevy, her odd but well-meaning parents, and their trudge through a swampy week in search of sunny, dry ground.<br />
<br />
If you're reading this in the United States, you're likely recovering from the July 4th holiday weekend and may never want to see sun again. But fear not: Your Oompa Loompa complexion, barbeque-swollen gut and scalded hand (from that thing you did that the label CLEARLY told you not to do under any circumstances) are all proof that you've celebrated Independence Day precisely as our forefathers would have done themselves. I'm pretty sure there's a painting of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin wearing sleeveless t-shirts from Old Navy (back then it was just called "Navy") and drinking Miller High Life.<br />
<br />
Where was I? Oh, yeah: So, good news! This post does not require you to: 1.) Stand in the awful, unforgiving eye of the angry sun. 2.) Eat another delicious, ghastly, mystery-filled hot dog. 3.) Wear a shirt without sleeves. More good news: I'm on page 26 of the edits. 9 pages to go. The second Kickstarter campaign is probably not going to happen in July, but running it in early August should work out fine.<br />
<br />
So...I have something a bit different to share this week. Take a look at this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOKB1cOH1DhyphenhyphenPjnncAJtWK3yvHCE07KWma3tSbOvwcueBUVRXxOkWigyaQPoIPXJzI3_SZzibny218dV-rZSTHfX_sJgPMKsJ5YpfRFAGmhyphenhyphenWqryozKUaaGhrrheMu3kAG0sYMBodGITM/s1600/IMG_1034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOKB1cOH1DhyphenhyphenPjnncAJtWK3yvHCE07KWma3tSbOvwcueBUVRXxOkWigyaQPoIPXJzI3_SZzibny218dV-rZSTHfX_sJgPMKsJ5YpfRFAGmhyphenhyphenWqryozKUaaGhrrheMu3kAG0sYMBodGITM/s320/IMG_1034.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX2bTI_esAGmqrg9HSLDPfKNhhFEbsLrUtfgPbVBXgUi5c5yOd8TrGINaxEBL9ygRuKZiIZzlTAmCVknqExZKkIXCDtIFn8_ygf1KhsakBJnThTAZjumZ4sc6HoOqmEIyL-O4WNXPUS2g/s1600/IMG_1035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX2bTI_esAGmqrg9HSLDPfKNhhFEbsLrUtfgPbVBXgUi5c5yOd8TrGINaxEBL9ygRuKZiIZzlTAmCVknqExZKkIXCDtIFn8_ygf1KhsakBJnThTAZjumZ4sc6HoOqmEIyL-O4WNXPUS2g/s320/IMG_1035.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_3NAd8RJfyaHlgJe6OQ9CWgATI0V67z_WZasr9dYtiVhwwDqPv4XVj_Ywn8sneEFa35_fo9xCS5AKUQ-YlspEoP3L8KgxkCgoWgxpv4_TJet5hvdkT10wSQr8Jcrur1d4U905NIBeXM/s1600/IMG_1036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_3NAd8RJfyaHlgJe6OQ9CWgATI0V67z_WZasr9dYtiVhwwDqPv4XVj_Ywn8sneEFa35_fo9xCS5AKUQ-YlspEoP3L8KgxkCgoWgxpv4_TJet5hvdkT10wSQr8Jcrur1d4U905NIBeXM/s320/IMG_1036.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLpROtZ1zMonekWiU4T3_EB9GVntJ1cRZWzpoH_1OoF0qNH80xIuXvsn67k0fJfEgUTaZe13hI5prvoIn35cL1HQ6ZDRkjYc17c1_jSNMot-lK_Otf9VHcCAv3FeNMoC9-NbTZa-fg2NA/s1600/IMG_1037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLpROtZ1zMonekWiU4T3_EB9GVntJ1cRZWzpoH_1OoF0qNH80xIuXvsn67k0fJfEgUTaZe13hI5prvoIn35cL1HQ6ZDRkjYc17c1_jSNMot-lK_Otf9VHcCAv3FeNMoC9-NbTZa-fg2NA/s320/IMG_1037.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Do you know what this is? It's a dummy. A blank one, of course. The printing company sent it to me for approval. This is what Saturday will look like. Hardcover, 11" x 17", 35 pages. Hopefully the printing will be as beautiful as this dummy. I'm surprised at how exciting this is for me. I mean, it's just a blank dummy. But it's also tangible. Being able to hold this and open it up and feel the weight of it makes me realize how close we are.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm excited and nervous for you to have a copy after all this time. It feels like a first date. Or the first time I held up a convenience store. What if I've built it up too much and you finally read it after years of waiting and you're like, "Meh."? Or worse, "Blech. I've read more interesting stories from the stalls of public toilets."<br />
<br />
Well, fingers crossed that's not your reaction. On the plus side, with a book this size and quality, there are plenty of alternate uses:<br />
<br />
-Live in a bad neighborhood? This handy home defense book will take down the most prison-hardened criminals! Try to hit them with the corner. Take that, crime!<br />
<br />
-Do you have a table or chair with a wobbly leg? Simply wedge this book beneath that leg and watch those wobbly problems melt away like fat in some kind of Ron Popeil gadget. Or, open the book and set it in front of the short leg. Now you can't see it! Problem solved.<br />
<br />
-Tailing someone and need something inconspicuous to hide behind? Look no further than this giant, lavishly-illustrated children's book. Suspects will never suspect!<br />
<br />
<br />
But that's just silly. You're going to love this book, right? (He asked with a desperate look in his twitching eyes while he grabbed your lapels and the sheen of flop sweat began to form on his forehead.)<br />
<br />
Right?<br />
<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-26914637988823763642015-06-21T13:56:00.002-07:002015-06-21T13:56:33.442-07:00Just about.Almost there. Getting there, anyway. But there's no new information that I haven't already shared. So instead of the usual gum-flapping, how about this page instead:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhziE43ThqajpCET8kWOgL6BSutt0oIcTlSMYCpMczxJTuKJh87R1kj2OeyZlV_SgCi3eiSJTMZ_R3xd1YlVVjJgHOP81pHCbNQzr6lk7k65QvKTElNOXzPA_15GR610CnrrfG5hOcyj_Q/s1600/SatPage18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhziE43ThqajpCET8kWOgL6BSutt0oIcTlSMYCpMczxJTuKJh87R1kj2OeyZlV_SgCi3eiSJTMZ_R3xd1YlVVjJgHOP81pHCbNQzr6lk7k65QvKTElNOXzPA_15GR610CnrrfG5hOcyj_Q/s320/SatPage18.png" width="320" /></a></div>
I'll let you know more when there's more to know.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-5386456707074144282015-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:002015-06-07T09:30:01.046-07:00In BriefHiya.<br />
<br />
Short post this week. I mean, not that anyone could possibly get tired of these wordy, meandering updates wherein I reveal yet again that the book is not done. (Spoiler alert: The book isn't done.) I imagine these are about as entertaining as a cover of a Human League song played on Harpsichord and Bagpipe. And, after this much time, probably as welcome in your inbox as a phishing scam.<br />
<br />
<br />
Dear Persons,<br />
<br />
I am a represent of large totally-not-fake bank in other country. We haves book for your reading pleasure and financial good, but book is stuck in bureaucratic problems. Please wire all the moneys to ensure the transfer of valuable book to your hands.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Dr. President Trustworthy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Seems legit, right?<br />
<br />
Anyhoo, progress report: Editing page 20 at the moment. Editing will completed by the August 1st printing deadline. The arrangements have been made with the printing company. The second Kickstarter campaign will be sometime in July (or early August at the latest). Right now, I'm focusing solely on the edits and I'll move on the business of the Kickstarter campaign when they're done, like an OCD kid who eats all the chicken, then all the potatoes, then all the vegetables. There will be no mixing or variance in the order of things, he said rocking back and forth in his chair.<br />
<br />
That's alls I gots. Lots of work in front of me, but we're getting there. And in the not too distant future, Saturday will actually be available. Not a ton of copies, but good-quality. And a decade's worth of work.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, here's one of the panels I edited recently:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvA6fzDilBSmBpdMzcbN_QQDSaOjjyGQLI6_MP1su4aIW8DBhF0YwHuiKnOWGCrxRgKSy_IsfB2PrGabNJIhfcbmFh7kEBTpOhOFOZ6KiuQmf78ftR9NC2CtM0vWimihRzj2O6fhWybZQ/s1600/Pg17Original.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvA6fzDilBSmBpdMzcbN_QQDSaOjjyGQLI6_MP1su4aIW8DBhF0YwHuiKnOWGCrxRgKSy_IsfB2PrGabNJIhfcbmFh7kEBTpOhOFOZ6KiuQmf78ftR9NC2CtM0vWimihRzj2O6fhWybZQ/s320/Pg17Original.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_3kWSy3zs0riuNFx1_dE1sx7qgrZ7kqhidUMnciKYy7xTinKwe9x822X7gz3D-sMxNnKLM8xEKKUyVXzgYSLt1bBH8-liOqXToPmUDuei7BGTrhbiDeaPf882Dz2k54em4VwNapj2IU/s1600/Pg17New.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_3kWSy3zs0riuNFx1_dE1sx7qgrZ7kqhidUMnciKYy7xTinKwe9x822X7gz3D-sMxNnKLM8xEKKUyVXzgYSLt1bBH8-liOqXToPmUDuei7BGTrhbiDeaPf882Dz2k54em4VwNapj2IU/s320/Pg17New.png" width="320" /></a></div>
Cheers.<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-20125816877859073262015-05-25T11:14:00.000-07:002015-05-25T11:14:45.029-07:00All the print that's fit for newsHello!<br />
<br />
Welcome to the latest edition of the Saturday update, hot off the presses of my only somewhat-credible brain.<br />
<br />
After what must have seemed like two years of torpor, things are moving and moving fast. In actuality, I've been working fairly diligently all along. It's just that some phases were interesting and engaging (both to work on and to share) and some were pretty comparable to re-runs of "Empty Nest"; you'd watch it, but only if there were absolutely nothing else on. And even then you'd only be half-watching while you looked around the room for something better, like a Highlights magazine word search.<br />
<br />
For instance, the search for agents and publishers has been about as interesting as a brochure on congressional bylaws. After a sending out a whole heap of cordial letters in an attempt to find one or both and getting rejected or ignored, I've pretty much thrown in the towel on the traditional route. It turns out that Saturday isn't a traditional book and is, as such, unattractive to traditional publishers.<br />
<br />
Which brings us to Item No. 1: I've signed a contract with a company to print Saturday on my own. It's official. They're a company with reputation for creating high-quality, beautiful books and I'm excited to have them working on Saturday.<br />
<br />
Item no. 2: What's that other part of the process that has about as much sex appeal as a hair-clogged drain? Editing. Trust me, I know how boring it probably is to read that I'm still editing. It's important, of course, but sometimes "Empty Nest" reruns sound engaging in comparison. Well, good news: I have to have all the editing done by August 1st. Yeah, the one coming up in the not-too-distant-future. Meaning that's the point where edits, talking about edits and thinking about edits stops. <br />
<br />
Item No. 3: I gave that printing company with the good reputation all the moneys I had up front. It was a fairly painful process considering that I buy off-brand ketchup. But it turns out they still need more of the moneys. So I'll be running a new Kickstarter campaign to pay for the other half. I'll probably be kicking off the campaign in early July. It will be for quite a bit less than the first one. If it doesn't work, I have a backup plan that involves selling one of my lesser-used organs.<br />
<br />
The new Kickstarter campaign will actually let you get your hands on the book. It will also let me actually get my hands on the book. Which is pretty exciting. After feeling like the process has been out of my hands for some time (what with the cordial letter campaign and all), it's nice to have some agency back.<br />
<br />
This whole process has been a pretty interesting one. And not "interesting" like detached scientist looking at cells under a microscope interesting. "Interesting" like you've just gotten back to your car after being chased down by a herd of angry, rabid vampire llamas and the car won't turn over interesting.<br />
<br />
So, just to recap: In between now and you having a copy of Saturday in your hands for your very own are:<br />
<br />
1.) Me, feverishly working to finish the edits before August 1st.<br />
2.) A Kickstarter campaign to pay for the second half of the printing so they don't take my thumbs.<br />
3.) 2-3 months for printing and shipping after I have the edits done.<br />
<br />
Not too bad, really. But I'll need your help to make it happen. And if we can make it happen, I hereby solemnly swear never to talk to you about editing again.<br />
<br />
That having been said, here are some edits:<br />
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And, regardless of what happens, thanks for sticking with me for so long.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860782956177347894.post-62267031717007870792015-05-10T12:19:00.002-07:002015-05-10T12:19:55.200-07:00Happy Money's Day. Mother's Day. I meant Mother's Day.Howdy!<br />
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Welcome to a very special Mother's Day edition of the "Saturday" update. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, "<a href="http://www.saturdaythebook.com/p/about.html" target="_blank">Saturday</a>" is this illustrated book I've been working on for, like, forever. Entire universes have flared into existence and been snuffed out while I was working on this book. When I first started, readers were young and wild and carefree and now they think earnestly about insurance premiums and have grown to like PBS shows set in the Elizabethan era.<br />
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If you're a mother you might well be gagging your way through a plate of congealed scrambled eggs and burned toast while you beam at a hand made card replete with yarn and glitter accoutrements and poor spelling. I know my mom always loves the poorly-spelled yarn disasters I give her every year. At least, she says she does. She's less thrilled that I also pack the envelope with scrambled eggs before I mail it to her. Well anyway, think of this update as your second present! I can see your probably grateful face as you say, "Oh...thank you. No, it's...uh...great. Really."<br />
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Progress Report: I'm editing page 12 right now. The pace of the edits is picking up and there's maybe only one or two more pages that require moderate editing (character models, etc.). The rest of the pages will need very light editing or none at all (some grammer and typose but nothing too extensive). I've received a couple more rejection letters since the last post (don't worry: I was fine after a good cry and some peach schnapps). I've also started talking with a printer. There's a company in California that prints beautiful, quality books and I'm super excited to work with them.<br />
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I will probably run another Kickstarter campaign to fund the printing. I still feel mixed about asking for money again, but if I wait until I have the all the money saved up, those of you who were around from the beginning will probably either riot or die of old age. It's going to be like Walter Donovan at the end of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" after he drinks from the wrong cup and turns to dust. And then that old knight guy will kind of smugly say, "He chose...poorly."<br />
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A couple of things to think about the campaign for printing:<br />
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-An actual, totally real (and hopefully beautiful) copy of the book will be one of the rewards that you can actually really totally have in your hands to look at and smell (I smell books sometimes for reasons that are beyond my understanding).<br />
-I'll be putting a painful amount of my own money into this right along with you.<br />
-The goal amount will be less than the first campaign.<br />
-If you already have a book coming to you, it's still coming. But if you want more than one, that's totally cool. You can buy as many as you want, he said with desperation on his breath like garlic from lunch.<br />
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I don't know exactly when I'll start the campaign. I have to get more information from the printer about the total cost and the timeline and then I have to start assembling stuff for the new campaign. But I'm pretty excited about it and I'll keep you updated. Whether you like it or not.<br />
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In the meantime, here's a recently edited panel from page 12:<br />
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Original:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfY6jLA5HhXeR7X923o5pS4wlkIdKhyIu1Zfy_-AbVTqW3MLnc8liK82SphqWzuMPSJy7o9n9jEWiLOIkahKlALwXAXfk10prl9zw82qQ8Ea_OuF-BCcuouF2M0s2O_9l75Y3Wqw-2I5k/s1600/Pg12Original.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfY6jLA5HhXeR7X923o5pS4wlkIdKhyIu1Zfy_-AbVTqW3MLnc8liK82SphqWzuMPSJy7o9n9jEWiLOIkahKlALwXAXfk10prl9zw82qQ8Ea_OuF-BCcuouF2M0s2O_9l75Y3Wqw-2I5k/s320/Pg12Original.png" width="320" /></a></div>
New Sketch:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9moL31l0RGcFXNR8fHHoYMvEzOiNk14ohq0OGcZLvUv2bCafERJgjKTAIerI8KbesFM-9WWW3sw-6s6NgcLEIaiMhjKy8eBkQwvb8n4TVtZblH5JIjMCAJGiu_0EUbqo1N59OSzsq9Rs/s1600/Pg12Sketch.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9moL31l0RGcFXNR8fHHoYMvEzOiNk14ohq0OGcZLvUv2bCafERJgjKTAIerI8KbesFM-9WWW3sw-6s6NgcLEIaiMhjKy8eBkQwvb8n4TVtZblH5JIjMCAJGiu_0EUbqo1N59OSzsq9Rs/s320/Pg12Sketch.png" width="320" /></a></div>
New Final:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KC_NlmsScWfoPnbsNjCPe6dNYHkzWqVl6lhDCkbaLR5WmKXwF_IRhSaCrGZxJuGA38RsQ_mEGkOqMjYtiFBQN5gyXz9xf5oYaCk2Je-ph-VVnedtXEYfPrwK84HO3ChrTqo33sJsFMI/s1600/Pg12New.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KC_NlmsScWfoPnbsNjCPe6dNYHkzWqVl6lhDCkbaLR5WmKXwF_IRhSaCrGZxJuGA38RsQ_mEGkOqMjYtiFBQN5gyXz9xf5oYaCk2Je-ph-VVnedtXEYfPrwK84HO3ChrTqo33sJsFMI/s320/Pg12New.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you. Seriously.<br />
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Cheers.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0